Tuesday, January 15, 2008

'American Idol 7' Season Premiere Live Blogged

Jackie's TV Blog, American Idol

It's here! As the show airs here on the East Coast, I'll be commenting on some of the auditions and other tomfoolery. After the fact, I'll probably add some images to this post.

So, sit on down in your comfy chair and make yourself comfortable -- and feel free to comment, too!

It's opening to "Time Has Come Today" by The Chambers Brothers. We're off to Philadelphia, a city I personally enjoy.

Joey Catalano, first up, has lost 204 pounds. He has a boy band voice if you ask me. He made it to Hollywood, but Simon seems a bit hesitant about his looks.

Okay, Ryan is talking with an Egyptian guy who loves America and uses the BeeGees as a sample of American bands he loves. Um. Well, he seems nice enough, but can he sing? "Uka" they call him. "How Deep is Your Love" isn't quite cutting it.

A Taylor Hicks back-up singer, Melanie Nyema. Hmmm ... not my cuppa for sure. But she made it to Hollywood? I predict she'll not make it to the final group.

Tour guide James Lewis first totally bad singer of the night -- I'm not quite sure what he's doing, but it's not singing. Maybe he's impersonating a foghorn? Calling ships at night?

A quick run of good and bad. They have some tal
ent, but I'm not loving anyone yet.

Ryan's talking to a female football player
named Sybil but called Temptress. She has a sob story. Uh-oh. She isn't making it -- not a laughable try, but not really ready for this show, for sure. She was such a sweet kid that Simon was even nice. Hell must be frozen over, eh?

Mark Hayes from Folsom, NJ may be able to make neat cricket noises, but he sings with absolutely no emotion. So, he goes for the crickets.

Another bad singer who thinks he's good. I never get this. I know I can't sing. He should know he can't.

Ah, what would AI be without a run of comical bad audition snippets? Done to "I
Love Rock and Roll."

Alexis Cohen, her mom, and two cats live in a studio apartment in Allentown, PA. It's a Billy Joel song, not Bon Jovi, Alexis. She likes attention and sparkly things. She will be odd. Simon thinks she's possessed. "Simon didn't like me, but he's a big fat bad word." Oh, then she got nastier.

Angela Martin from Chicago, with an ill daughter is being bio'd now. I think she might be able to sing. We'll see. A truly tragic illness for the daughter -- Angela wants to use the money to provide health care and research. She works as a singer, so ... oh, she IS good.

Alyse W. oh my. She's frightening me. This run of bad auditions is making me cringe. Some older guy wants to sing a song called "No Sex Allowed" for the judges. Milo Turk, a social worker. Um. I think the pressure of his job may have cracked him.

Kristy Lee Cook came all the way from Oregon. She does cage fighting and loves horses. She's pretty. She sold a horse to get to the audition. She sings "Amazing
Grace" just fine.

A man in a cloak is just what we need. He should leave the cloak on. They're going to let him wax his chest hair and come back. Ew.

More bad audition runs. I'm going to have nightmares tonight.

Yikes -- a guy is singing a stalker song he wrote for Paula. He's creepy. I recommend a restraining order.

Nice segue to a girl named Beth Stalker, though. Ah, nice jazzy voice. Simon voted no, Randy and Paula yes. I liked her voice. So there, Simon.

Cloak man Ben Haar is back hairless. Worse. His act is as bad as his look.

Chris Watson, with good looks and dreads, sings well and makes it through to Hollywood.

The reject doorway shots are always so uplifting, aren't they?

Christina, a Princess Leia wannabee who wants to leave Enfield, CT, promises a huge flop. It's American Idol or become a corrections officer for her. I say she would shine in prison. I'd give her 10 to 15 years to start.

Last audition of the night is Brooke White, a nanny. She could definitely be successful with a singing career. It's an interesting voice. Onto Hollywood.

29 made it through to Hollywood in the two days at Philly. Princess Leia is still fussing about the looks of
the contestants. Tomorrow night is Dallas.


Anonymous said...

I about fell off my chair when R P S walked out Temptress. I do not think they ever did that before...

SOmething weird with trying to add comments!!!!!

joy n said...

Jackie, I haven't heard anyone yet that I would call fantastic. Hope someone tonight or tomorrow knocks my sox off.

I was kind of impressed by Joey, (I loved the boy bands) by his voice and his weight loss.

joy n said...

I'm not crazy about the sob stories, either.

joy n said...

Doesn't it seem that there are a few more weirdo's than usual this season?

Becky A. said...

OK, you had me really laughing with your foghorn remarks, Jackie. I can't wait to read your AI coverage this season.

Jackie said...

Maybe it's just Philly, Joy. ;-)

joy n said...

Maybe that IS it.

I actually think the judges are being a bit kinder this time around. Even I laughed when Foghorn opened his mouth.

joy n said...

What's with Princess Leia?

monty924 said...

The scariest woman, ahem, Alexis, was acting and hoping for second shot at fame, on the corny show they do toward the end of the series. Ewww, Alexis, take a chill pill!

Anonymous said...

The Egyptian guy was adorable. "my friend said I am sexy face" lol I love it. I can't beleive that man compared himself to Eddie Vedder?! I loved Chris Watson. I can see him in the top 10. I think they showed more good auditions this year than last. Last year it seemed like there were 10 horrible people for every good person.

meb said...

The "now hairless chest" guy made me want to puke. Thanks to Simon for stopping him before he even got three words out in his song, cause he had nothing on under that thing he was wearing, and he was doing a dance step which was going to cause his "panels" to flap in the breeze and we were about to be flashed! Now, to me, that type of dance stepping says he was aware of what he was doing, was trying to expose himself to the world+

and thus should have been arrested for indecent exposure. JERK!

The girl who kept giving Simon the finger(s) actually had a pretty good tone to her voice if she hadn't tried to be Janis Joplin.

PEOPLE...PLEASE... just come in and sing the best you can. Pick a song that's going to flatter you, not destroy your chances. Jeesh!

I'm with you Jackie...all these can't-carry-a-tune people simply have to know they can't sing. My question is why they would get up there and chance the wrath of Simon. It would not be worth it to me just to get on national television?

I enjoy some of the "silly" contestants, but most of them I feel sorry for.

Regardless...I'll still be watching.

boo said...

I too think there were less "bad" ones than last year. Maybe AI is trying to be a bit kinder? I hope so! The ones shown were those in costume, etc. who obviously came to be ridiculed and shown on TV.

I'm with you, Jackie. How can these people not know they can't sing!

poody said...

Let my people go! I laughed so hard my soup came out my nose! ANd hello to the dumb girl who thought the Allentown song was a Bon Jovi song. Even I knew it was BJ and I live in Austin and hate BJ! I like the horse girl and the girl woho has the sick baby was also good but I wonder if she makes it to the finals if she will play that part for the votes. Is that rude of me to say? I haer Big Brother is coming back next month! I do not know if I can take it becauase it comsumes me so!

AnnieQMac said...


Your write-up was funnier than anything I've read in a long time. Thanks for the laughs - it's gonna be a great AI season!