Wednesday, June 03, 2015

20 Things We Can Expect on Big Brother 17

1. There will be the requisite black male and/or black female. However, never more than two folks of color.
2. Someone will try to set up an alliance on the first night.
3. The old person will be slightly over 40. Hey, maybe a real old one at 45. We can dream.
4. There will be at least one woman with a shrill loud voice that will disturb the neighbors in my apartment building as I watch the live feeds late at night.
5. There will be a gay guy. But never two gay guys. If there were, they'd probably not like each other.
6. We'll have a new array of tattoos to see ... some will have to be covered with Band-Aids.
7. A bunch of the hamsters, convinced that the show is Big Brother: The Musical, spontaneously burst into song periodically during the season. Thus, the live feeds will go into fish (or, old-style FOTH) every time they sing.

8. There will be several model wannabes, both male and female. They will hang around in bathing suits and live for comps akin to wet t-shirt contests.
9. At least three hamsters will think that stardom comes after the wrap party at the end of the season. They would be wrong.
10. There will be "twists" we don't like or want.
11. Fish will die. Yes, the fish in the HoH fish tank die all season. No, they don't show that on television.
12. Ants will invade the kitchen. They always do.
13. BB will dole out a paltry amount of alcohol and the hamsters will act like it's a keg party at a frat house.
14. The hamsters will rush around cleaning up the house on live show days not caring that they're SLOBS daily on the Internet.
15. More than one person will have to dress up in a silly costume as a punishment.

16. Most of the competitions will require the hamsters to make fools of themselves.
17. The women will think of forming a women's alliance, but it won't work out.
18. Both men and women will pop pimples in the mirror. Ew.

19. BB will give them dollar store toys and arts and crafts when the doldrums get too dull.
20. There will be at least one person who cries a lot. It would be nice if she were named Amber so we could call her WAH-mber as we've done in the past.

BB8 Wahmber photo AmberWAH07MA21443929-0002.gif


Sharon N said...

Nailed it... on all counts!! LOL

Chacha said...


Lucy said...

You are spot on, Jackie. The Canadian BB just ended their season and I must say it was great. The comps and the twists were fresh and exciting. Production in Canada has kicked it up.

Jennasmom said...

All this, yet we continue to watch! LOL

clover said...

You are so insightful, Jackie.

But as predictable as it is, I am so looking forward to BB this year.


Grove Wiley said...

Hi Jackie: Grove/AlbGlinka here on my new Macbook Pro which is supposed to be for a resume and job hunt! I will be watching, and reading here... I just can't help it.

Please: no "YouTube Sensation" brothers of lame pop stars in this cast!!!!!

uncartie said...

21. Males will form an alliance on Day 1
22. The female that suggests the women form an alliance will never make it to the end and most likely will be voted out early.
23. At some point during the season we will be tortured with an appearance by the insufferable Frankie J Grande.

Anonymous said...

Jackie, you're predictions will most likely play out on this upcoming season! Add this one: Someone will have pink, blue, green or other weirdly colored hair, so they stand out.

Sharon N said...

Gawd, I hate to think you might be right on your #23.
It will probably happen. barf

Sharon S said...

Your list made me miss the show more! I can't wait for it to start!

Nickelpeed said...

Right now, they do not have one person over 33. However, there are only 14 houseguests, so that could change. Can't wait.

Anonymous said...

Man, Jackie, you are so right. And I finished reading your list and thought "Why am I watching this again?" Sigh. I was looking forward to the season for some reason. I think seeing the cast killed it for me AND the mention of Frankie.....I just hate that guy so much.