Jeffrey "Ryan" somone is on now. He's 27, but to me looks "old." Simon says he's the first Ryan he's ever met with talent. They like him -- onto Hollywood.Cedric Robinson, related to Fantasia is next. Singing 'Chain of Fools.' Simon says absolutely dreadful. He's right. Now, I'm not familiar with Anne Nesmond (sp?), but a relative of hers is singing a Dixie Chicks song. Ah, they asked her for another song -- Billie Holliday's 'Take Five.' Wow. I like her. 17 years old and I missed her NAME. Argh! There.. Paris. 24 went through to Hollywood on the first day in Greensboro.
It's Day 2. Simon's birthday. Randy sings Happy Birthday, dear Slimon...
Now a Marcus who thinks his singing is unique and different. He's comparing himself to Usher. We'll see. Okay, he's holding single notes forever. Simon has this mesmerized night of the living dead look on his face. "What the hell was that?" Heh. He said he has the Randy and Paula DVD of vocal lessons. He's going to sing one more song. Sounds sort of the same. Paula seems upset. Randy is laughing. Paula thinks he should model or do commercials. Randy is still laughing.
Now Marcus is taking a hammer to the DVD.
All right, "Mr. Personality' Jimmy Crabtree is on. He has a very exaggerated country twang yodel in his song. Simon says he has the personality of a hippo when he sings. Even Paula is telling him he's not any good.
Sammy, a self proclaimed crazy person is up. He says he's so RAH. Not good. Flat. Weird and flat. Why don't they stop him? Please stop him! "Sylvester Stallone's younger sister singing Paula Abdul" according to Simon. He's going away. Good.
Tyra Juliet is singing 'In the Still of the Night'. Hmmm... I'm on the fence about her. She looks like Pochahantas, but with a good voice. They like her. She's onto Hollywood!
Seth Strickland is the one they've been showing doing 'Thriller' and then says "oh, crap." He's history. But we knew that when they fiurst blurbed him last week, didn't we?
Rhonetta Johnson will catfight with Paula, but a firefighter is on first. His name is Jordan Southerland. I personally don't care for the song "You Raise Me up." Randy says no, Paula says yes... Simon agrees with Paula. Yikes.
Now the one they've hyped all night... all lady and all mouth. Blonde black woman chunky with glitter cowboy boots and a matching halter top. Yipes. Rhonetta Johnson. Simon already made a fat reference. So bad. So, so bad. Simon says never. She's saying we'll all see her on TV and she'll be on the top of the charts. She's going on and on. Get her off. Where do some folks come off thinking they've got talent when they sing worse than me? Oh, go away. She's getting all ghetto all over the place. And her gut is hanging over her skirt. So appealing. Or appalling. Whatever!
Greensboro is over. Only nine made it on the second day. Tomorrow night is San Francisco. The ending is a collage of bad 'Fame.' Not David Bowie style, the movie/show one.
4 comments:
I live in Greensboro. We are going to pretend that tonight never happened... got it?
Some good from the auditions here. But for the most part I can't help but think people across America are scratching their heads this evening wondering just what kind of place Greensboro is exactly. There were certainly enough weirdos that came out of this town tonight.
Bwahahaha! I love your comment, Christopher! I really can't get too critical of weirdos. I live in NJ. 'Nuff said. ;-)
Jacquie, the name of the celebrity that's related to the young lady named Paris is Anne Nesbit and she's the lead singer of a group called "The Sounds of Blackness." Their music is more of a gospel style and they have won a few grammys.
Rhonetta Johnson is a ghetto woman who should have been bitch-slapped for looking and acting the way that she did. Someone who looked and acted the way she did should have gone into that room and belted out a song. At least she should have tried. No, all that talk and acting up and went in there and really sucked. I mean she really, really sucked with her funky-looking self.
And, Christopher, you should not be so hard on your city. Just because the auditions were held there doesn't mean that all those failures were actually from there. I saw quite a few from other places in North Carolina.
Rhonetta is getting hers ...she has a site now. Did you guys see this crazy thing rhonettajohnson.com
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