'Hell's Kitchen' - Ep. 4 -or- "I Don't Think We're Getting Dessert

I think it may be sinking through to foul-mouthed, sometimes fowl-cooking Chef Gordon Ramsay that he has no real winners with the candidates this season. I personally don't think any of these folks could make it past greasy-spoon or, perhaps the best might make the line at a franchise restaurant. That's sad.


As the show opened for the fourth episode of Suppose They Gave A Gender War And Nobody Came, Garrett was complaining that Tom was dragging down the mens' team. Well, yeah...but so did Giacomo. And Keith's too busy "rocking" his pants and "rolling" down the street to ever make it through to the end. For some reason, I can't see anyone with the nickname of K-Grease running a fancy-schmancy Zagat-rated restaurant. Go back to Jersey and work a diner down the shore, Keith. Oh -- and take Tom with you! So, who's the most normal on the mens' team? Garret, the ex-prisoner prison chef. Can I get an eyeroll from everyone, please?

As far as the women, I still like Heather for the win. That is, unless Ramsay decides none of these frycooks are up to the challenge. Each week, Sara is irritating me more and more. Virginia and Rachel are ho-hum at the best, inept at the worst. And, Maribel is still so out of her league that it's shocking she doesn't spend entire episodes in a panic attack.

Due to the fact the men were down to three, Ramsay declared that Rachel, Sara and Heather were leaders. The men needed a leader, so he gave them Heather. Then they all went off to eat at the busiest restaurant in Los Angeles, Pinks. It's a hot dog/fast food place.

The first challenge for the teams this week was to serve lunch to a bunch of brats (ahem) children who were obviously told to be on their worst behavior. Kids never act like that when their parents aren't with them to give dirty looks to strangers who dare say something about their behavior! Both teams actually completed the service -- pizza, hamburgers, french fries and cake. The Blue Team (men plus Heather) narrowly got the win and went off to an amusement park.

The Red Team (women) had to clean up the dining room which was destroyed by the children. Sara acted like a real jerk, laughing and not taking the loss seriously at all. I did have to smile when she inhaled helium from a balloon and imitated Ramsay. But, other than that, all she did was irk her fellow team members.

When the actual dinner service went down later that night, once again it was a catastrophe. I didn't expect it to be anything but one, so I rocked my pants and settled in. That Sara must go away. She really must! She literally sabotaged Virginia in Ramsay's eyes by letting her take the fall for something done wrong. On the Blue Team, Heather was babysitting the men and, surprise of all surprises, Tom was royally screwing up the meat station so much so that Ramsay pulled him and stuck Keith in his place.

Eventually Ramsay had his meltdown and closed the kitchen while patrons were still awaiting entrees. As one person said, "I guess this means we're not getting dessert." In his rage, he told both teams to nominate someone for elimination.

The women should have nominated Sara. But did they? Nope. They nominated Virginia. Chef Ramsay obviously thought they should have nominated Rachel. Sara, I say! Sara! The Men Plus One got their nomination right -- they nominated Tom. Of course, he was full of bravado boasting he wouldn't be eliminated, but guess what? As Caroline would say to Trump, "This was a no-brainer." Buh-bye, Tom!

He should never have been on the show to begin with. In tonight's show he mentioned that this is his fourth career in his 43 years. I wouldn't even want him cooking hamburgers the way he sweats into the food. Hmmm...a good career for Tom? Um, how about cleaning subways? And I don't mean the restaurant!