'The Apprentice 5' Season Finale -or- "I Hear There's An Opening In Hawaii"

As of tonight, Donald Trump has a new employee in his organization after a grueling, yet entertaining, 15-week long interview. Yep, tonight was the hour and a half live finale coming to us from the Orpheum in Hollywood, California. I found that rather unusual as all of the other seasons ended right here in the New York City area. Not that I was ever invited, mind you. (Sniffle.)

However, Trump had a card up his sleeve. The Apprentice 6 will take place in California. Dang, it just won't be the same, at least not for me. I'm used to the NYC setting, know the areas and often see familiar sights. Yes, I lived for a few years outside of Los Angeles, but we're talking first grade. I think it's changed since then. Ah, well...on with the show...

The finalists -- Lee Bienstock and Sean Yazbeck -- were still amidst their final tasks as I wrote in last week's entry. Lee was in charge of a celebrity hockey game fundraiser at Chelsea Piers (NYC), while Sean was in charge of a Bare Naked Ladies rock concert fundraiser at Trump's Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Both had woes. In my opinion, Lee chose a horrible team. No matter how much loyalty he feels with Lenny, the man is not good for business. Pepi? He chose Pepi, fired in Week Two. Roxanne had some strong points, better than Lenny and Pepi, but...! And, then Sean had a strong team -- Tarek, Andrea and Tammy -- but Andrea had a health crisis and went running off to a doctor. Eep.

As we watched them complete their tasks this week, both still had woes. Yes, Andrea returned (which is great as she's a very strong team member). Her health crisis turned out to be a burst blood vessel in her sinuses. But Sean delegated too much responsibility to Tarek, in particular. Tarek actually did well, but even Trump's representative George commented on it, so it wasn't just me.

Lee was totally disorganized and really turned off the fundraisers by not having everything planned. Then he went and put Lenny (of all people!) in charge of the celebrities! What the hell was he thinking? Lenny all but deserted them, offended the fundraiser folks with ill-timed jokes and even got Lee ticked at him.

In the end, both candidates managed to get their acts together, although I don't think Jaime Pressley (the auctioneer for the hockey event) ever wants to see Lenny again. To quote her, "You're not together, little Apprentice Boy!" Nonetheless, both Sean and Lee seemed to have success with their events in the end. I'll admit I couldn't do it.

The task endings, as well as recaps on both Lee and Sean, were filmed and shown to the live finale show audience on a huge screen. Live hooplah included Trump asking his Trumplets, Donald and Ivanka, who they'd choose to win. Neither committed. Nor would George commit. This season's other candidates were split pretty much down the middle, too. Perhaps Sean had one more in his court than Lee did. Finally, Carolyn committed and chose Sean. Judging from the audience, Sean was a more popular choice.

Me? I wasn't thrilled with either of them, but I'm sure both will go on to success in business. But, they once again didn't ask me. Well, they did, but I didn't vote online for either candidate. I decided to be an apathetic slug. Or something. I thought Lee was too sneaky and Sean wasn't on top of things. Maybe I could have voted for Brent!

Trump told them that there were two job locations from which they could choose. No, each didn't get a job. He indicated that their choice may play a role in his choice of the winner, but that didn't come to play as both chose the same location. The choices were Hawaii or Soho (a nifty-keen quaint ritzy neighborhood in New York City that is being ruined with stupid highrises - my opinion, of course). Both chose Soho.

When Trump revealed the general vote from the online audience, he said it was overwhelmingly in support of one candidate. He chose the same one for the win, but said it was a hard decision.

The envelope, please. Um...okay, no envelope. The winner of The Apprentice 5 is Sean Yazbeck, the Brit in Miami. Throw confetti, dance and sing...if you must.

Just a few tidbits:

• Sean said he plans to marry Tammy (aw, golly gee, how sweet)
• Was Andrea wearing jeans? What was up with that?
• Denis Leary broke the NYC law by smoking in that locker room.
• Those Pontiac G6 cars are really attractive. May I have one?
• Trump believes you must take credit, blow your own horn, in business. Why am I not surprised?
• Hmm...it seems to me that there is a position open in Hawaii. Should I apply?
• Brent had to jockey for position to shake Trump's hand one more time.
• Lenny is still surly and a step behind the world.

All in all, I was entertained this season, more than I have been for the past few. After all, I'm not applying for a job with Donald Trump. I'm just sitting here writing about a television show. If it entertains me, then it did its job. Donald Trump, I guess you're hired. (The paycheck is in the mail. Really. Would I lie?)

Thanks for reading this season and I'm sure to be watching next season.

Until then...

Dollar bills, y'all...