Blogging 'American Idol' - The Boston Auditions

*These blog notes are typed as I watch the show and put up immediately foilowing the east coast airing of 'American Idol.' Please ignore or, at the very least, forgive me for any typos, punctuation or otherwise errors. Thank you!

The Boston auditions were held on a rainy day; the Boston cops think they'll have the next Idol because all the "great sports teams" are in town. Yeah, right.

James Yokley, Jr. is doing some sort of odd, but patriotic, hip hop. He's no Eminem. Randy likes the lyrical content; Randy likes his clothes. Simon asked him to actually sing. Not so hot. Randy and Simon say he can't sing, Paula says work on it. Lots of work needed in my opinion -- perhaps a voice transplant?

Father senator, local TV personality mom and she's a top ranked basketball up and coming star, Ayla Brown age 17. Well, she can sing okay -- not exciting to me, though. She's not anyone whose records I'd buy, but... the judges agree with me. Something's missing a bit. Randy's a yes. Simon's a no. Up to Paula. She's onto Hollywood. They think stage presence needs to be worked on. I doubt she'll make it through Hollywood's first cut. Too much work to be done. Stick to basketball for the time being and practice. Oh, wait. No one asked me.

The immigrant, classically trained, the next up is Irada Jaforova (sp). Eep. Her voice is cracking. Not good. Randy is hiding his face giggling and Simon is wide-eyed with his frightened frog look. ACK. Now she's doing Chain of Fools even worse, switched into some other song. Dang, she seems stoned or something. It seemed to break 'AI' for a moment, just silent freeze frames with no sound for about five seconds. Simon said not one note was in tune. She left mad.

Laurence Soarles... bad
Alison L. worse
Katherine H. even worse.
"They kept coming and they kept sucking."
Lots of crying and mad segments...

Simon was grouchy.

The O'Donahue twins are being interviewed. One had an operation affecting her vocal chords and can't sing. They are pretty. Simon says commercial looking. Rebecca is singing. The other is lip synching in the corner. I find it unsettling. Paula says she's beautiful, but her voice isn't as pretty. Simon says no. Paula and Randy say yes. Onto Hollywood.

Tatiana Ward, whose mother married a black man and she has to prove something to her grandmother. Not horrible, but not for me. I personally don't think Idol. Simon says, "I'm not being rude but you remind me of a pet poodle I had." (Her hair.) Randy is a yes, Simon a no, Paula a yes. I'm a no. She sucked up to both Paula and Randy. She didn't suck up to me. Or Simon.

Several women got through to Hollywood, but no auditions shown.

A bit on the jobs of the wannabees. It looks like quite the array of professions.

They're focusing on one who works in rehab with the elderly and uses music and song - Holly Corrente. She's okay. They're reminded of Doris Day. Randy and Paula say no, so does Simon. She was upset, but is mature about it. She says she'll try again.

Huh. Now Ryan is saying the sun is going down. Wasn't it pouring before?

Kenneth Maccarone is singing "I Believe" by Cher. Very odd. Weird. Simon tells him to be a female impersonator. Kenneth says no. Ah, now he goes for Simon, verbally. No Hollywood for you! Bicker. Stand his ground. Heck, I didn't think he even sounded like Cher! He has that evil vindictive look about him. I hope he doesn't own an AK-47.

Now they're talking about the poor showing of males.

Kevin Covais, singing "You Raise Me up." He can sing, but I wonder if he looks the part. He has that strange military brush haircut. Simon says anyone over the age of 80 will like him., Paula says he doesn't look it, but he's a yes. Randy says yes. Simon says no.

A segment of bad "Joy to the World' renditions. Including some sort of dragon armor on one. I'm surprised some know the words... a few sing the Chrismas one, but it's supposed to be the Three Dog Night Jeremiah was a bullfrog one.

Michael Sendecki -- Clay Aiken lookalike (before polishing) - "I really can sing, but I'm nervous as hell and I gotta pee." and "Clay Aiuken's love child." Oh my gosh, the faces he makes while singing. Simon said at least Clay can sing. Paula says no. Now the pee line. They tell him to go, then come back. He runs. I still think he shouldn't go... to Hollywood. He can go to the bathroom. He's back. Still the same. "It made you worse."

28 people from Boston made the Hollywood trip. 175 in all from the auditions will be in Hollywood. Now they're doing a memory lane bit of the auditions. It's hopefully the last time I'll ever see Rhonetta Johnson. Huh... they showed the twins who were uninvited due to their criminal brouhaha. Tomorrow night is the first show from Hollywood... against the Grammy Awards. Ack -- Hell Week. I'll tape the awards and blog 'American Idol.'

Blogging 'American Idol' - Austin, TX Auditions

*These blog notes are typed as I watch the show and put up immediately foilowing the east coast airing of 'American Idol.' Please ignore or, at the very least, forgive me for any typos, punctuation or otherwise errors. Gracias!

Here we are in Austin, first really up for the audition is Julian Riano singing 'Lemon Tree' by Trini Lopez. Hmm... boring. I know several other artists who have covered that song. I personally liked the Peter, Paul and Mary version. At least Julian is personable even after getting rejected for Hollywood.

Michelle someone whose number fell
Arthur Mayfield, Donnel Bolton... all rather odd.

A self-proclaimed fashion genius is being interviewed by Ryan. Uh-oh, she has a Paula Abdul obsession... shades of 'Misery'? She's singing "Proud Mary" -- her name is Paula Goodspeed. Not good. Paula A. is "speechless." Simon is trying to blame her braces for the poor showing. It's a no. Now she's showing the nasty side. @@ <--- she rates a Jackie Eyeroll

Ryan did a segment on the undead -- IMO, the Untalented! Danielle Zamora singing "Amazing Grace." At first she just hit a few bad notes, then she went berserk. Now a series of very bad with no names as a horror flick.

A funeral director, Jason Horn, is up next. Backstory because it's different or because he'll make it to Hollywood? We'll see... heehee, he's going to sing "You Raise me Up" by Josh Groban. He can actually sing... I predict Hollywood. And, so it is. He's onto Hollywood!

Cierra Johnson, a vet assistant and dance choreographer, is next. She's pretty. We'll see. Yipes! That's how I sing! That's IT! That's ME! And, why you'd never see me audition or even sing in public. Simon - "It's like the soundtrack for the Night Before Christmas." (She sang O Holy Night) I can't believe how much she sounds like me. Um... she should pursue another career, for sure.

A travel story from Alison Schoening with her plane excitement story. Er... not good. Simon likens it to his cat's tail getting stuck in a door. Alison admits it was horrible. They're actually going to let her take a half hour and then come back. Heehee! Alison just got Simon with a comeback.

A parade of rejects coming through.

Jeffrey Pollack, a cutie, wants to think about why he's there.

Ricky Hayes feels he's meant to sing. He's a music major in college and I think he lives up to it. He can sing, for sure. I like him. Will the judges...? Paula says refreshing. Simon thinks it's the "nicest sounding voice he's heard so far." They all like him. 100% yes from all.

Ashley Jackson is up. I guess she's okay. She's not thrilling me, but I think she can sing okay. She can sing with her mouth closed and you can understand the words. I personally say no. Randy and Simon pushed her through to Hollywood. I'm not worried -- I predict long gone before the 12 Finalists.

Ryan intros someone who has a bigger ego than Simon. His name is Ronnie Norman and he likes to flirt. "I'm going to be me and that's what they'll love." - about the judges. He sang "Ain't No Sunshine." Paula and Simon voted him through, Randy said no. He's onto Hollywood. He is cute in a boyband kinda way. I personally don't think he has the most exciting voice or persona in the world.

A Randy Jackson lookalike named Kevin Mitchell is up. Ah, he's singing "I Can't Dance" - a song I like and I'm enjoying him -- it's not great talent, but it's a fun audition! Paula and Randy pass. So does Simon. No Hollywood for him. No soup for Randy.

Now Alison Schoening is back. I think she's still bad and she can roll back on up the river on Proud Mary. It's a no. A waste.

16 year old William Makar is singing "Ain't Too Proud to Beg" - he can sing a bit, but good enough? I don't think so. But he's a cutie. Paula said no. Simon likes him. Randy says yes... he's off to Hollywood!

Tessie Mae Reid who thinks she's similar to Diane Degarmo or Carrie Underwood, 17 years old, is up next. I bet she can't sing. They've been showing her in promos through the show. Singing "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." No way, Tessie Mae! Go 'way, Tessie Mae! Simon said the whole thing was frightful. Nope, she's not going to Hollywood. Crying, but of course. Now inside the judges room with no contestants, Simon compares her to stuffing a potato sack.

Only 12 made it to Hollywood from the Austin audition.

Back to Jeffrey, the one who didn't know why he was there. He decides he won't be exciting. Next week it's off to Boston on Tuesday, some of the worst and some of the best, it looks from the promo. On Wednesday, it's Hollywood for "Hell Week."

Jackie... OUT! ;-)

Blogging 'American Idol' - Las Vegas Audition

Ah, Las Vegas... this is being blogged as I watch the show here on the east coast. Any typos or poor punctuation should be forgiven... please! :-)

Jamaica Good Music? Yes, I do. A Rastafarian nicknamed Alexis "Dylon" Linchetta sings 'American Idol, the Reggae.' Randy, "Fake Jamaican thing awful." He's a no. Cute idea, but poorly done. Ack, now he's crying that he shouldn't have come as a gimmick. @@ <--- I must roll my eyes at him.

A Jester got bumped off with no name given.

Now the singing horrible psychic named Bobbie from last year is back. Now she's a talent manager for her sister Erika. @@! So, let's hear Erika. Judges are laughing. "The maddest family I've ever met in my life" - Simon.

Mecca Madison, full time student, singer and belly dancer. Age 18, small and cute. Oh, she can sing. Breath of fresh air. Onto Hollywood! That decorative thing near her eye is not needed, in my opinion. She's very petite, cute and can sing... doesn't need it!

Ryan Hart -- foul mouthed and vaguely reminscent of a child Conan O'Brien in looks -- is on. Yikes, he sounds like the girl in The Exorcist before her head spun around. Horrorible. No surprise -- he's booted.

I think the next one will make it, a background story first. She works with parolees, parole officer? Heather Ward. She sings 'Redneck Woman.' Decent. Randy and Simon both liked her. Let's check Paula. Paula passes, Randy says yes, Simon says yes. I figured that one out.

Jason, who is a gondola dude on the waterway in Vegas, backstory... will he make it? Jason Andino, sings 'Stand By Me.' Yep, he can sing. Simon says no. Waah, Randy said yes. No Hollywood for him.

Argh, a section of returning tries which flopped before coming on. JC Gray (Crazy Eyed) -- now with a mullet. Simon said no without him even singing. Good.

Oh, local boy from Roselle Park, NJ with a backstory. Heavy guy, Anthony Andolino. Yes, can sing, but screams a bit. Ah, Paula just voiced my own thoughts -- theatrical voice. All three judges a no. Simon snarked something about they couldn't afford the food bill after he left. At least he didn't say it in front of him. :-(

Oh, geez, more twins. The Pierson twins. Girls who seem to have a musical background and they're showing a backstory. Cute girls. Hmm... to me, one sounds a bit flat, not sure which. Simon says no. Paula and Randy do, too. No Hollywood. Aww, they're upset.

David Mandzak, age 18. He reminds me of a cross between Charles Grodin and Jim Carrey -- nasal voice, he's a no.

Now bad singers with no names, only numbers, in a C.S.I. segment -- Criminal Singers Investigation.

Haggai Yeddida, a fairly recent immigrant sings "I'm Proud to be an American." Not so good. I'm glad he likes our country, though. He's a bit indignant, thinks he has perfect pitch. He thinks he's out as he didn't get eye contact.

Princess Brewer, age 22. Thinks she sounds like Aretha Franklin. Sings "That's What Friends are For." EEK. Make her STOP! She's scaring me! She shouts more than sings. There may be a voice somewhere in there, but she's hiding it very well. "You're giving me a headache" - Simon. Judges are panning her -- "Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse, it did."

Now, more horrible audition clips with no names singing "I Will Survive." I hope they don't. I know that's mean. Mean me.

A segment on image, with the theme song from 'Hair' playing. But, gray hair? Taylor Hicks, gray hair when he was 15 or so. Sings some Sam Cooke. He's 29 years old, can sing. He has a bit of an Elvis sneer. Simon looks bored as they have him do another song. I like him. Randy likes him. Paula thinks he's a good performer. Simon disagrees. Simon says no, Paula and Randy say yes!

Only 11 contestants from Vegas made it to Hollywood. Tomorrow night is Austin, TX.

Now if only Simon could judge Bush's State of the Union speech next....

Brittenum Twins Dropped from 'American Idol'

According to this article, Memphis twins Derrell and Terrell Brittenum have been dropped from 'American Idol' and won't be returning to the show. A statement was released by their lawyer while FOX TV hasn't commented on the matter.

According to the article:
The two 28-year-olds stand accused of using another man's identity to buy a 2005 Dodge Magnum in June. But both brothers refused extradition to Georgia, which led to further arrest warrants. Terrell had been in jail since Jan. 10 on an outstanding warrant for charges related to the illegal purchase of a car in Rockdale County, Ga., east of Atlanta, reported the Commercial Appeal newspaper.

The New York Post reported that the twins were ready to travel to Los Angeles (after posting bond) only to be "uninvited" by the show. Despite the fact they won't be on 'American Idol', some record companies have expressed an interest in them.

Rhonetta Johnson Ain't No Holla Back Girl... I Hope

Oh, geez. I can't believe all the attention this Hunky Blonde Black Ghetto Bimbo is getting on the web.

Now, I'm really not sure what a 'holla back' girl is, but if they're even thinking of holla back to Rhonetta, cut it out.

She is as far from "all that" as... well, farther than I can even try to express in mere words.

She's scary deluded.

Here's some of the articles mentioning her out and about on the web:

• 'Idol' chatter
• American Idol American Idol (Season 5) tv : ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY
• Wizbang Pop! <-- read all about her arrest record!
• Reality TV Magazine: American Idol Greensboro Auditions – I’m Not Saying That To Be Rude
• American Idol: Greensboro Auditions
• RealityFanForum.com - RFF - Your Source for Reality TV News, Information, Spoilers & Recaps - American Idol, Real World Key W...

Bloggin' AMERICAN IDOL - San Francisco

So, the show is onto San Francisco for the auditions tonight...

Heidi from Hawaii can sure sing opera. But, the judges were right. She's not 'American Idol' fodder -- she has a totally different talent.

Shawn Vasquez. Eek. He's making my head vibrate. Make him go away. Simon says his voice is "almost nonhuman." He does look crushed, but he really cannot sing. Good. He went away.

Jose "Sway" started a streak of onto Hollywoods.

Now there's Matthew "Wolfie" Thompson who thinks he sounds like Clay Aiken. No, he does not. He reminds me more of Lumpy Rutherford from 'Leave it to Beaver.' NEXT, please!

John Williams, an Air Force guy, is on. Some halfway decent stuff. I like his remix dance. Simon, no. Paula, yes. Randy... yes. He's going onto Hollywood. Simon had the nerve to say Randy was mean with a comment about "circus act." As if...!

Now there's a segment on voice teachers. SF seems to have a crowd of them.

Now we have Katharine McPhee, who has a voice teacher, singing 'God Bless the Child.' Very good, in my opinion. Nice. Simon says "absolutely fantastic." Randy says "best voice all season." Yikes... in looks she reminds me of a young Valerie Bertinelli! She makes it to Hollywood. Of course.

Eric Cornforth. No!

She quit her job to try out for 'American Idol' -- Shalicia Carlysle (sp) -- may be a poet, but she ain't no singer. She's still trying. Stop her! Simon finally does. He tells her quitting her job wasn't the best career move ever. Randy says she "ain't got it goin' on." Simon told her he'll call her boss to get her job back and does it. She got it back! Simon likes her, just not the singing part.

16 year old Shawn White is up. Dang. To me it sounds like she's trying out for the Broadway role of Annie. Now she's singing an Alicia Keys song. Much better. Simon says no. Randy calls him weird. He says yes. Paula says yes. It's Hollywood.

Now Randy is confronting Simon.

Marcus Phillips claims he's a singer/songwriter/dancer/actor, etc. -- all terrain entertainer/ His falsetto sucks. I think he's just silly. He can beatbox. Ah, Randy mentioned the falsetto. It wasn't just me.

Jayne Santayana is up. Nice enough voice. I thought she was overly emoting. Simon says she didn't conquer the song. Randy liked her. Now Randy and Paula are confronting Simon. Paula and Randy say yes to Simon's no. She's onto Hollywood. The confrontation betwixt judges is on again.

Lady Big Hair? Deborah Dawn Tilley, female rocker, is up. She's frightening me. Paula says a bit much, but yes. Randy, not blown away. Simon says "somebody's mother dared her to be Cher." Randy says no. Simon says he's put off by her image (so am I). He says no.

Now Paula is going at Simon. He's walking out. Down the hall and on the cell phone. He went back to the hotel. Paula and Randy see the last alone - a kid named Manuel who drinks hot sauce from the bottle. Okay. His head wiggles when he sings. He can sing a bit, but he's straining to do so. And wiggling. He's got cute dimples, but a no.

18 are onto Hollywood. Next week we see Vegas and the Return of Cowell.

Now, if Blogger cooperates, maybe I can get this entry posted! Blogger's been down for making entries most of the evening when it was only supposed to be down for a half hour at 7 PM ET. Grr

Bloggin' AMERICAN IDOL - Greensboro, NC - Hour 2

Jeffrey "Ryan" somone is on now. He's 27, but to me looks "old." Simon says he's the first Ryan he's ever met with talent. They like him -- onto Hollywood.

Cedric Robinson, related to Fantasia is next. Singing 'Chain of Fools.' Simon says absolutely dreadful. He's right. Now, I'm not familiar with Anne Nesmond (sp?), but a relative of hers is singing a Dixie Chicks song. Ah, they asked her for another song -- Billie Holliday's 'Take Five.' Wow. I like her. 17 years old and I missed her NAME. Argh! There.. Paris. 24 went through to Hollywood on the first day in Greensboro.

It's Day 2. Simon's birthday. Randy sings Happy Birthday, dear Slimon...

Now a Marcus who thinks his singing is unique and different. He's comparing himself to Usher. We'll see. Okay, he's holding single notes forever. Simon has this mesmerized night of the living dead look on his face. "What the hell was that?" Heh. He said he has the Randy and Paula DVD of vocal lessons. He's going to sing one more song. Sounds sort of the same. Paula seems upset. Randy is laughing. Paula thinks he should model or do commercials. Randy is still laughing.

Now Marcus is taking a hammer to the DVD.

All right, "Mr. Personality' Jimmy Crabtree is on. He has a very exaggerated country twang yodel in his song. Simon says he has the personality of a hippo when he sings. Even Paula is telling him he's not any good.

Sammy, a self proclaimed crazy person is up. He says he's so RAH. Not good. Flat. Weird and flat. Why don't they stop him? Please stop him! "Sylvester Stallone's younger sister singing Paula Abdul" according to Simon. He's going away. Good.

Tyra Juliet is singing 'In the Still of the Night'. Hmmm... I'm on the fence about her. She looks like Pochahantas, but with a good voice. They like her. She's onto Hollywood!

Seth Strickland is the one they've been showing doing 'Thriller' and then says "oh, crap." He's history. But we knew that when they fiurst blurbed him last week, didn't we?

Rhonetta Johnson will catfight with Paula, but a firefighter is on first. His name is Jordan Southerland. I personally don't care for the song "You Raise Me up." Randy says no, Paula says yes... Simon agrees with Paula. Yikes.

Now the one they've hyped all night... all lady and all mouth. Blonde black woman chunky with glitter cowboy boots and a matching halter top. Yipes. Rhonetta Johnson. Simon already made a fat reference. So bad. So, so bad. Simon says never. She's saying we'll all see her on TV and she'll be on the top of the charts. She's going on and on. Get her off. Where do some folks come off thinking they've got talent when they sing worse than me? Oh, go away. She's getting all ghetto all over the place. And her gut is hanging over her skirt. So appealing. Or appalling. Whatever!

Greensboro is over. Only nine made it on the second day. Tomorrow night is San Francisco. The ending is a collage of bad 'Fame.' Not David Bowie style, the movie/show one.

Bloggin' AMERICAN IDOL Audition Night/Greensboro, NC - Hour 1

Okay, to start -- yes! I totally got Simon's comment to the one girl regarding Jerry Springer! Gotta love it. ;-)

I'm not too keen on the sob stories this year. Yes, I think Kelly Pickler has a good voice. But do I need to know her Momma left her at 2 and her Daddy's in jail? I know she seems nice, but what if her voice sucked and we sat through the sob story?

Tux Guy. Shawn. He's gimmicky, for sure. But I'm liking his voice. With his facial hair, he seems a lot older than 17. He's a no according to the judges. Oh, but they took Crazy Dave! Shawn's little brother is so defensive.

Now Jimmy is there with a dummy, Scottie. This gimmick at least has them smiling. Ah, he can sing. If he goes on, what about the dummy? He didn't get on, but it gave the judges some good reasons for working with dummy jokes. Now a helium-voiced woman with a pink cowboy hat is on. No, say no! "I want this more than a whole bag of gummy bears!" Sorry!

An egotistical National Guard dude is going to start. He's inviting Paula to dance with him if he sounds good. Steven David, Jr. Simon and Randy dragged Paula to dance with him as he sings 'Let's Get It On.' Onto Hollywood for him! I think this is one to watch. He's full of it, but he's a hoot. And, he can sing. Ryan Seacrest brought Steven's wife into the room to break up the party. Randy thinks the show has turned into speed dating.

A 27 year old with an almost 12 year old son named Halicia is singing. She can sing. She now says she is supposed to kiss Simon and brought plastic to kiss him through if he didn't want germs. He said no to the plastic and it's yes to Hollywood.

Going for a perky boy named Donny, age 19. Hmmm... has had a vocal coach for a year. To me, he sounds choppy, off key and fast as he sings 'Bridge Over Troubled Water.' Simon says he murdered the song. It's a no.

Now a girl named Kendra with a sob story -- has been in 42 foster homes. She married very young, three kids? She worked her way into college. She seems very level-headed. Yes, she can sing. She's kind of bubbly, perhaps it's just nerves. Paula: "Breath of fresh air." Simon says he would have said no, but since Randy and Paula said yes, Kendra tells him -- "It doesn't matter, I'm going."

Chase who's Kennet who's a bit... um different, is on. Until they flashed his real name, I was thinking woman, myself. He sang a Whitney Houston song. They're comparing him to Wayne Newtown. Now Simon is doing his "in a dress" thing. He's onto Hollywood.

"I'm not being rude" is getting a segment. I love his line "you look like the Incredible Hulk's wife." They haven't shown her sing. Now a woman is telling Ryan how short he is. Now the latter is about to sing -- her mother was a stripper. Sob story or not? Now, she is odd. She's wearing what's wild lingerie. Eep. They're advising vocal lessons and come back.

A Brandon is on now. He does a weird little hiccup thing at the end of his lines. It's a no. Aw... he's sad. His Momma thinks it's his white trash po' boy clothes.

Hour One done.

'American Idol' Twins BUSTED

The first set of twins we saw on the 'American Idol' premiere show are no strangers to the law. An excerpt from this article I found on the web:

Memphis twins Terrell and Derrell Brittenum may have wowed 'American Idol' judges, but the next judges they face may be a bit stricter.
Terrell, in fact, was jailed in Tuesday night when the 'American Idol' episode taped in September showed him and his brother passing their first audition before the Fox TV judges in Chicago, the Memphis Commercial Appeal reported Thursday.
Relatives told the newspaper Derrell was preparing to surrender to police on the same charges his brother faces in Georgia.

Read the entire article for the skinny on the Brittenum twins.
Huh. Now, what do you think of their chances in Hollywood?

Blogging 'American Idol' - Night Two, Denver

Tonight's 'American Idol' audition show came to us from Denver, CO. There still isn't a likable bad like a William Hung. Plenty of bad, though. Plenty.

There was Marlos who traveled so far -- from Denver. His line "I've come such a long way" reminded me of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz. That wasn't going to be the only Oz reminder of the night.

A 16 year old Lisa Tucker made it through. She has a tremendous voice and really seems to have a lot on the ball. The auditions were looking up!

For a minute, anyway.

The Rocker Contingent was horrible. It makes me want to turn to gangsta rap which is so not me. So, so not me. One rocker named Chris Daughtry made it through. I wasn't all that impressed with his version of 'The Letter.' I personally doubt he'll be in the 12 Finalists.

The show did a musical reference to something I doubt a lot of their audience would even recognize. During a bit of a face-off between Simon and a contestant (Simon wanted him to go away), they played theme from the 1967 Clint Eastwood movie 'The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.' It was perfect!

I honestly liked the naive cowboy kid Garrett who made it through. Alas, while I think he has talent, his lack of training is going to hurt. But, at least, he'll get to ride an airplane.

There were two odd characters -- one claimed to be an entrepreneur (but couldn't say the word entrepreneur, nor even say his cleaning business slogan) and the other claimed to be an inventor. Both were bad. But the latter gave Simon one of his best lines of the night. "You're useless and I'm bored." Here's when the second Oz reference came into play. The "inventor" sang "If I Only Had a Brain." Fitting song, very fitting.

A very androgynous young er.. man... named Zachary raised some eyebrows with his audition. He sang totally flat, but was convinced that the judges were prejudiced against him because of his appearance. In the talk afterwards, he wasn't so androgynous after all. No underwear and to the right. @@ <--- I needed to roll my eyes!

Nineteen people made it through to Hollywood from Denver. Next week's Tuesday auditions show will be two hours and coming in from North Carolina.

Are you watching? Did anyone (except perhaps Lisa Tucker) impress you?

Bloggin' the 'American Idol' Season Premiere

Okay, this is one of those guilty pleasure shows for me. I told you I'm a TV addict. This proves it.

So, this is the 5th season of 'American Idol', huh? Unlike Ryan Seacrest and some of the applicants, I personally don't consider it a rite of passage. Of course, the show is only five years old, four actually. My rites of passage predate that by just a couple of years.

I get a kick out of the bad auditions, sadistic soul that I am. Now, if I were to sing for them, I'd be the worst of the worst. Well, maybe not, when I think of some of the applicants. But my personal singing is reserved for my apartment and not used as a weapon against society at large.

Tonight's audition show starts in Chicago with a rather sour Simon, Paula and Randy. I watched them on Leno last night and they were just fine with each other. But, apparently it was a rough day or the process was taking a toll on them. If I'm being honest (line credit: Simon Cowell), Simon was even a bit worse to some than usual. Part of the fun of watching the auditions is the looks on the judges' faces and the off the cuff comments. I know. I have a mean streak.

I think the show spent entirely too much time on the contestant Derrick Duprey (sp?). He was sweaty, sang poorly and was boring. Enough all ready. He didn't deserve a second chance or an hour. He needed to be nonexistent on the show. That's what he needed.

As I'm writing this, I'm not seeing any standout Bad Idols. The kid from NY dressed as the Statue of Liberty didn't even get out the entire first line of 'New York, New York' before Simon shut him down. Lad Liberty looked shocked. Too bad he gimmicked. He may have actually had a voice.

As for some who made it through -- I was impressed by the Britnom (sp?) twins and their Motown stuff. Very nice! And a girl Mandesia made it through. In name, kind of like Fantasia. In looks and voice, a bit Frenchy Davis. Her size gave Simon the opportunity to ask if they would have a bigger stage this year. Bad Simon. Bad. I wasn't too impressed with the Suck Up To Simon Line dental assistant who made it through. Ack, I'm turned off by the sisters who just made it as I was typing. Eww!

The deputy sheriff who kept singing the "I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy" over and over (and over and over) again... sucked. Simon said another contestant reminded him of an auntie singing badly. I would have said worse.

The kid Zachary who just crooned "I'm In The Mood For Love" was decent. He's a cutie, too. He made it through. Good. He's only 17 years old. Sheesh... I would have loved a boyfriend to croon that in my direction when I was a teen. Um. Well, I still wouldn't mind it. Another cutie 17 year old boy made it through, too. David Ratcliffe did a Sinatra song which Simon loved and the others didn't. I thought he was fantastic. Paula said his package was great. (Heh.) Paula also says Simon will cut him in Hollywood. I guess we'll see.

A Britney/Paris lookin' wannabe with zilch talent just annoyed the hell out of me. I may have "bad eye makeup accompanied by yucky vocals" nightmares tonight. Thanks so much for including her on the show, guys. At least Sweats Duprey was basically just overall boring.

A girl from the Ukraine just sang the worst and weirdest version of 'Bohemian Rhapsody' that I've ever heard. Even worse than my own. (Which is over emoted and waaay off key sung to torment my two cats.) Buh-bye Ukraine Gal. (Phew!)

Now, another pair of twins made it -- the Simmons twins at 16 years old. They serenaded Paula. "Crazy Dave" is auditioning now. Eek. His eyes roll up into his head. Oh. My. God. They put him through to Hollywood. FREAK SHOW! What the...? Have Paula and Randy lost their minds? This guy squirms, runs barefoot and talks to the animals (in addition to his eyes rolling up into his head as he sings).

The end of the show was a bad salute to poor Patty LaBelle's 'Lady Marmalade' -- poor Patty didn't deserve that.
"Voulez-vous couchez avec moi ce soir?"
"Not if you sing."

So, there ya go. Another season is ON. Are you watching? Tomorrow's show is auditions in Denver. Be there or be square.