Big Brother 11 - The Evel Dick Backyard Interviews

For your morning after amusement, beware -- language can be a bit raw at times. After all, it's Evel Dick.

Big Brother 11 Finale Show Blog Party

First, I'd like to thank everyone who's visited the blog this season, left comments, sent donations, birthday wishes and cards, consoled me on my personal loss this season ... you're all wonderful and you're what makes this blog a special place! Thank you!

Just because Big Brother is ending doesn't mean we end here. We'll be having blog parties and posts for Survivor, Amazing Race, and even touching on shows like Heroes and Lost. If there's enough interest in shows I might not watch, I'm always willing to set up a discussion post for folks to talk about those shows, too. I noticed we picked up some great new folks in the community this season and you're invited to stick around!

Without further ado ... let's get into the grand finale blog party!


Earlier today Kevin stole his colorful hoodie out of Natalie's luggage only to have her steal it back again. He finally gave in, but he really wanted that and it was his. Natalie shouldn't be wearing other people's clothes and then demanding to keep them. Low class, I say.

We've had dudes ...

We've had meltdowns ...

But it's now time to crown a winner ...

And, the winner is ... ROOFUS the Cat! Well, if the world was according to graphic artist Zoetawny and me, it would be!

The show is about to start here on the East Coast. While this post will be updated with major events as the show airs, the real fun is in the comments! Everyone is welcome to join in! Lots of beverages, lots of snacks, and really comfy seats abound. Later tonight my actual show review will be posted over at TV Squad.

9:20 PM - Still recaps, rehashing, and last ditch scheming.

9:40 PM ET - Still no real news. Jury has been quibbling.

Jordan wins the final HOH in a tiebreaker!

She evicts Kevin. It's Natalie an Jordan in the final two.

The voting is complete, but not revealed yet.

JORDAN HAS WON BB11!!!

Four votes needed for the win ...
Key order --
America - Jordan
Jessie - Jordan
Lydia - Jordan
Russell - Natalie
Jeff - Jordan

Michele - Jordan
Kevin - Natalie

Jeff won the 25 grand as America's favorite HG.

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into Tuesday Dawn 9/15

Their last full day and their last night in the Big Brother house. It's special, it's bonding ... and we had the first banner plane of the year (other than Zoetawny's). Here are the events from inside that Big Brother House of Loquacious Lollygaggers:

• They got up early -- before noon, even.
• Kevin, alone, went through rehearsing his plea to the jury. He used three phases -- 1. let stronger personalities like Jessie create targets for themselves, 2. backstab Jeff to make his big move, 3. win comps.
• He's also determined to work in the first BB win by a gay/lesbian angle in there.
• Natalie's fear of bugs has her afraid to sit on the backyard couches. Good. Let her stand for the rest of her life.
• I apologize. That was mean.
• As they were in the backyard, all of a sudden there was Beatles music -- it was a line from "Martha My Dear" -- "Hold your head up, you silly girl, look what you've done." Very odd. I hope they were referring to Natalie!
• Then ... look, up in the sky! It's a banner plane! And cut the feeds.
• Kevin was pointing, but no one seemed to read what the banner said.
• At least that's what they said.
• They talked about what they're wearing for the finale. Kevin doesn't want to go out looking like a straight boy.
• Natalie critiqued all of his choices.
• Natalie told Kevin that if he doesn't take her to the final two, he has no chance of winning.
• She also pressured him again ... and again ... and again.
• Jordan refused to wash pans Natalie dirtied. Natalie is not a dishwashing kind of gal and Jordan is tired of it.
• Jordan thinks America loves Jeff, not her. She would pay bills with any winnings.
• Jordan still has Kevin and Natalie wondering which one she'd take if she wins the last part of the comp. In private, she's told each of them she's taking them.
• I'm not sure either. I hope it's Kevin just because I'd rather Natalie not get the second place prize.
• I know. I'm being mean again.
• They did some packing. Jordan would like to take the leftover food home if they weren't going to do anything but throw it out.
• Natalie told Jordan that Kevin told her he'd better win or she (Natalie) is going home.
• Natalie tried to defend herself from any underhanded moves by blaming them on Jessie.
• Jordan and Kevin kept questioning Natalie about her actions. She kept throwing Jessie under the bus.
• They're all asleep as I post this. It really looks like Kevin is trying to distance himself from Natalie a bit. He's being more outspoken with her. But it could be wishful thinking on my part as I want a Kevin/Jordan final two.
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into Monday Dawn 9/14

I always look forward to the Big Brother season. Yet, at this time of the year, I look forward to seeing it end. While the final three trapped in the house is slightly more interesting than two who have already done what they can do to win, it's still monotonous. And, with the jury being live tomorrow night, we don't get the backlash of the jury questions on the feeds.

Here's what's happened since my last report:

• Jordan was up the earliest -- we're talking early afternoon.
• They're still decorating dishes with the crafts they were given.
• Natalie told Jordan that Kevin asked her if she had a final two deal with her (Jordan).
• Jordan continues to pretty much tell Natalie and Kevin what the other is saying.
• I fear that Jordan favors Natalie, but it's hard to tell.
• The BB voiced piped trivia through the house. Now I know that Sweden is slightly larger than California. Check.
• Kevin is upset because he feels he has no shot. He doesn't think he can win against either Natalie or Jordan.
• I think he could very well win against Natalie.
• Natalie cooked fish for dinner. No one wanted it. Natalie also mentioned that fish is poultry, right?
• Natalie told Kevin that girls are not supposed to work once they marry.
• I'm speechless. Her boyfriend gives her a twistie-tie ring and she's under the assumption that he will provide her a life of luxury?
• Jordan told Kevin and Natalie that she's always been self-conscious regarding her weight -- that's why Russell upset her so.
• She also talked about her boob job and how hard she worked to afford it. Them. Whatever.
• Kevin finally spilled the reason we haven't seen him swim or take off his shirt all summer -- he has Poland disease and has had his own breast augmentation surgery. He said that muscle loss keeps him from doing anything where he has to hang from his arms. The scar and unevenness of his chest makes him want to keep his shirt on.
• I looked it up -- Poland's Syndrome. Huh.
• Natalie had lasik surgery.
• None of them have gone through the horror of a knee replacement! Let them do BB comps after that, eh?
  

Big Brother 11 9/13 Show Blog Party

The show is delayed here on the East Coast. It should start around 8:30 PM ET, but it's only the clips show anyway. Once it starts, this post will be updated with the major events as it airs, but the real fun is in the comments section. Everyone is welcome, bring your own snacks and beverages! Later tonight my show review will be posted on TV Squad.

8:25 PM ET and we're started here.

We're talking the prompted memory lane trip with clips to back 'em up.

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into the Dawn Sunday 9/13

At least they're happy.

If she doesn't stop playing with that twist-tie, it's going to break.

Well, it's not as bad as two in the house, but it's not that much more interesting. They slept into the afternoon and as I type this at around 6:30 AM ET, they're still up talking. And talking.

It was so boring in the house ... (how boring was it?) ...

• It was so boring that Kevin and Natalie went on a cleaning spree throughout the house. They are so not the cleaning type.
• It was so boring that the big excitement was that they couldn't drive wickets into the ground to play croquet.
• It was so boring that the big intellectual debate was Kevin and Natalie trying to figure out the meaning of cornmeal.
• It was so boring that the deepest observation of the day was Kevin saying that Chima should have never called Russell a terrorist. He said she had the upper hand in the Russell/Chima dispute and she blew it by calling him that.
• It was so boring that decorating plates became an educational event as Natalie taught Jordan to properly spell "GUCCI." Jordan thought there was an "e" on the end. Hmm ... whatever did happen to Dan Quayle?

They're just droning now, and so am I.

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into Saturday Dawn 9/12

No, I didn't forget you. I decided to take last night off, have Chinese food delivered after a hectic day at work, hide from the elements (yesterday was rainy and windy all day), watch the A&E Friday night marathon of Criminal Minds, and peek in on the live feeds throughout the evening. Alas, they gave me so little fodder for posting that I decided to gather everything and post this morning.

Here's the scoop from inside that Big Brother House of Suspended Disbelief:

• Someone from BB was doing some sort of construction work upstairs in the house -- hammering and sawing.
• Kevin thought they were dismantling the HOH room. I believe he could be right.
• Kevin tried to tell Natalie that Ronnie was more evil than Michele. Natalie has a bug in her bonnet about Michele and sees her as the root of all evil.
• Kevin still doesn't seem to believe Natalie's proposal story.
• I say, that's what happens when you lie so much over things you don't need to lie about.
• Natalie still adores Ronnie.
• Ew.
• BB gave them some games to play -- the dollar store variety.
• They talked about 9/11.
• Natalie made dinner and was proud of herself because she never cooks at home. I'll admit she really got into it, but she's no Jeff in the kitchen.
• Natalie fussed about Julie Chen cutting her off on the live show.
• Man, that was the third best moment of the entire show! The first was Jordan winning the comp, the second was the look on Natalie's face when Julie announced Jordan's score of 9 versus Natalie's 5. It still makes me smile to think about it.
• Natalie said they never cut Jordan off. Kevin told her it sounded like she was going to relive the comp step by step.
• Kevin told Natalie he doesn't believe she's 18 but has no idea why she would lie about it.
• Natalie didn't admit her real age.
• I'm 29, you know.
• That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
• Kevin is worried that the show will portray him as "an angry gay person." He thinks most of America hates gays. Both Natalie and Jordan don't seem to have much life experience around gays. They obviously don't live around here! Gays are kind of mainstream and as much of the scene as convenience stores.
  
• Kevin thinks that Adam Lambert didn't win American Idol because he's gay and that the winner can't sing.
• Obviously, Kevin has forgotten that the very first winner of Survivor was Richard Hatch, a gay man who really defined scheming and alliances for all of reality television. Hatch had his faults, but he never came across as a weak player. True, America didn't vote on Survivor, but America only has one vote on the jury (for the first time) on BB. If it's Kevin up with Natalie, you know we're going to vote Kevin!
• Kevin and Natalie talked about religion. I want to say the blind leading the blind. Both have their own beliefs (or non-beliefs) and never the twain shall meet.
• Natalie kept trying to work Jordan against Kevin whenever they were alone.
• Meanwhile, Jordan has been telling both Kevin and Natalie what each other was saying. She's playing them both brilliantly or just through dumb luck and innocence.
• Kevin would love to do Survivor while Natalie thinks it would give her a panic attack. Good. I don't want to see Natalie besmirch another show I enjoy.
• They talked about what they'd wear for the finale show and went through all the clothes they have.
• Kevin finally noticed that Natalie has a big butt. I'm just curious how tall she is. After watching them on the log, I never realized she was that much shorter than Jordan. I don't think Jordan is really tall ... so Natalie might top out at not much over five feet, I think.
• And, there you go.
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into the Dawn Friday 9/11

The next few days are going to be very predictable. But, martyr that I am, I'll report on the happenings inside that Big Brother House of Nat Got Got.

• The feeds were on an extended block for a feast. I guess we weren't invited. That's okay -- one less time I see Natalie chomp food with her mouth open.
• They unpacked.
• They talked about houseguests long gone.
• Natalie thinks from her diary room sessions that it's clear that America loves Jeff and Jordan.
• I wonder if it's clear that Natalie irks us to no end? Most of us, anyway.
• Kevin told Jordan he's 100% taking her to the final two if he wins the last part of the HOH comp.
• Kevin told Jordan that the diary room was not happy when he said he was going to take out Jeff.
• They all talked about past events in the house. This sounds like the typical reflection they get out of the final two each year for footage. Yawn.
• Kevin and Natalie are proud of their LML -- last minute lie. You know, the one which was actually kind of truthful but they didn't know it about Russell planning to take Jeff out.
• They talked about sex.
• Now they're all asleep.
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Since the Show Thursday 9/10

Enough said?

After all, a picture is worth a thousand words, right?

The feeds have been blocked with trivia for some time now. I believe it's so they can unwind with dinner. You readers without the live feeds could probably write up this brief report as well as I can:

• Natalie pouted about losing and went over the comp over and over again.
• Natalie told Kevin her life depends on him and he better keep his word.
• Natalie and Kevin talked about their final two deal.
• Natalie and Jordan talked about their final two deal.
• Kevin and Jordan talked about their final two deal.
• They were called to the diary room one by one.
• I think Miss Jordan might have gone all sneaky on us when we weren't looking. She's playing both Kevin and Natalie pretty well right now.
• I can only hope Kevin is playing Natalie and not Jordan.
• And then ... feeds block.
  

Big Brother 11 9/10 Show Blog Party

The show has started here on the East Coast. This post will be updated with the major events as it airs, but the real fun is in the comments section. Everyone is welcome, bring your own snacks and beverages! Later tonight my show review will be posted on TV Squad.

Ohhh... Julie just said all three will make it to finale night. Part one of the HOH completes tonight, part two live tonight. Then the third part will play out live on Tuesday with the evicted immediately joining the jury and taking part in the questioning.

Kevin wins the first part of the HOH, but we knew that.

Jury house -- no one beat up Jeff. They have all SO turned on Natalie. Yes!

Mike Boogie, Danielle, Evel Dick, and Janelle will talk about the final three next.

Natalie up first rolling balls on an uphill ramp into holes in HOH order. She got 5 right and we're in commercial.

Woohoo! Jordan got 9! She wins the second part!

We get a jury vote. Very complicated. Will have to check online later. They have the scenarios of each couple which could be F2.

Yay, Jordan, yay, Jordan!

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into the Dawn Thursday 9/10

Oh my. Something actually happened last night on the live feeds. No brouhahas, mind you. Nothing that interesting at all. But we now have a hint regarding the second part of the final HOH competition -- uphill bowling! Here's the skinny:

• Natalie is still worrying that Jordan will win the second part of the comp.
• Kevin is having his own freak-out over not knowing the schedule of events, not knowing whether to pack, etc.
• Jordan is scared that Natalie and Kevin will choose each other over her for the final two.
• Jordan should worry about that. This would be the time for her to win if ever there was.
• Natalie talked about her upcoming wedding. I'm sorry, I didn't want to know her plans and I just don't care.
  
• They had an indoor lockdown, went outside afterward to find the grill removed and a bowling lane looking doohickey with two holes in it had appeared.
• The rules said they have to roll their balls up the ramp and into the holes without touching the sides.
• Natalie again said that she should have stayed on the log. If she had known this was coming, she wouldn't have thrown the comp.
• Natalie also said that "they (production) don't want me to win." That got a reprimand from BB about talking about production.
• She should have said "Jackie and her blog buddies don't want me to win."
• Jordan and Natalie practiced. So did Kevin at Natalie's insistence. He didn't want to, but she made him. Yep, forced him.
• A moth viciously attacked Natalie in the backyard. You go, moth!
• Okay, it just flew near her.
• I hope this is a hint of how the game goes down -- In practice, Jordan got 17 out of 20 balls in, Natalie got 6 out of 20.
• Even though Jordan is sure to take Natalie to the final two (I think), it would be a hoot if she won the last HOH comp! I'd rather Kevin/Jordan, but I don't think that will happen.
• They're all asleep as I get this posted.
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Through the Day Wednesday 9/09

We still don't know the exact schedule of the remaining comp parts. Julie Chen said something about the second part live on Thursday's show. Hmm ... that should be the eviction show with the third part. It's sounding like both barts will be live. I'm expecting Sunday to be the filler show with "highlights" of the season. Then, for the first time ever, we're getting a two-hour reunion and finale show on Tuesday evening.

They certainly haven't done much today. Neither have I after being up most of the night. Here's the day from inside that Big Brother House of Lonesome Losers:

• Natalie seems really worried about the second part of the comp with Jordan. Good. I'd like to see Jordan pull a rabbit out of her hat.
• The ant problem in the kitchen is even worse today. I guess there's a benefit to my not living on a ground floor in decades. I've forgotten what it's like to have ants in my kitchen.
• Natalie told Kevin that the diary room told her she was dumb for throwing the comp to him last night.
• Natalie and Kevin relived almost every moment of the comp. Gah!
• Jordan cried alone. Aw.
• They discussed what the next part of the final comp might be. They have no clue on the schedule, either.
• Jordan promised to take Natalie to the final two if she wins this last comp.
• Natalie freaked out more telling Kevin how much he owed his own place in the house to her. @@
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into the Dawn Wednesday 9/09

Good morning, good morning! What better way to start your day off than by looking at Natalie chomping food with her mouth open! Did you notice that last night during the comp she even ate Mentos with her mouth hanging open? Perhaps if she wins the big bucks, she might want to invest in manners school, eh?


The top two rows on the Memory Wall are black and white now.

To be honest, not much has happened since the big comp. If you want to read about it and see the screen caps, check out the endurance comp post. I just felt I should get a new post up so people don't have to wade through 300 comments. I napped, I completed both the show review post and a spoilers post for TV Squad ... and I'm ready to nap again. Thankfully it's my day off from my day job.

They ate hot cups of noodles, then pizza. They were exhausted (as were all of us who hung in with them) and cold. I wasn't cold. They hit the bed early -- around midnight their time. I hit the bed late (my time, ET) and didn't stay long.

Maybe I should eat some pizza and chew it with my mouth open.

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds - Endurance - Final HOH Comp - Part 1

1:55 AM ET - All done, Jordan out first, Natalie threw it to Kevin. Jackie needs a nap before she writes her TV Squad posts. Thankfully, the editors don't work overnight.


1:53 AM ET - Natalie jumped, followed by Kevin.

1:48 AM ET - Feeds back. Natalie still there.

1:45 AM ET - Figures, they blocked the feeds as Natalie was due for her fake fall to throw the comp to Kevin.


1:31 AM ET - Natalie said five minutes and once again pressed Kevin for assurance that he'll take her to the final two. Now she wants fifteen minutes. He compromised on ten. She's really pushing Kevin. Annoying! She's threatening him. "This is mine to win."

1:28 AM ET - Jordan fell. Sigh. We know Natalie will go down next as per her deal with Kevin to throw the comp after Jordan was out.

1:15 AM ET - All still in. SOMEONE (Natalie) better fall soon!

1:00 AM ET - All still hanging in.


12:20 AM ET - All still in.



11:58 PM ET - All still in.



11:40 PM ET - All three still in.


11:25 PM ET - All three still up, Kevin looks the most steady. A production voice told them to flick their mics (when the log stopped) -- apparently to get moisture off of them.





11:10 PM ET - Hail, ice and snow now. All still in.

11:00 PM ET - All still in. Natalie is sneezing and apparently her hand is cramping. Let's all think BUGS.

10:47 PM ET - Log started up again, this time backwards.


10:45 PM ET - All still on. Natalie is trying to psych out Jordan telling her how Michele wants Jeff. (Yeah, right.) BB stopped the log suddenly, all were jolted. But they're still on. It's now raining again.





10:30 PM ET -- All three still in it.



10:26 PM ET - Brief visual - Jordan still up. Audio hints Kevin is there -- rats, Natalie, too.

10:20 PM ET - Feeds still blocked.

As I get this posted, I guess it can be a placeholder. The feeds are still blocked. But once they come back on, this post will be updated with screen caps and news. Of course, the fun is in the comments! Feel free to dive in -- the water's fine.

Big Brother 11 PoV and Eviction Show 9/08 Blog Party Post

The show has started here on the East Coast. This post will be updated with the major events as it airs, but the real fun is in the comments section. Everyone is welcome, bring your own snacks and beverages! Later tonight my show review will be posted on TV Squad.

Kevin won the POV and is in tears.

Veto - Kevin saved himself. He evicts Michele. Argh.

The endurance first part of the three-part final HOH comp has begun. Log Jam -- they're holding onto their keys on a rolling "log." Julie says they'll have a night of surprises. I'll be posting a separate HOH endurance comp post once the feeds return. Stay tuned for the latest updates!

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Into Dawn Tuesday 9/08

You can almost guess what's been going on even without watching the live feeds! But let me tell you the happenings from inside that Big Brother House of Plotting Polliwogs:

• Jordan napped a lot. I've lost any hope that she's going to rally for a win.
• Natalie still wears her twist-tie ring.
• Michele is still trying to work on Kevin for a final two deal. She told him there's no way he could win against Natalie with the jury, but they (Kevin and Michele) give him an edge towards the big win.
• Kevin told Michele that Natalie has said she'd turn the jury against him if he goes against her will and she leaves the house first.
  
• Kevin humored Michele and seemed very sympathetic to her plight, but I don't buy his act. He's a Natalie minion for life.
• He later told Natalie the whole thing and both Natalie and Kevin reaffirmed their final two commitment.
• Natalie suggested that Kevin go to Jordan to have her throw the final comp to him -- promise to keep her in the final two.
• I don't think even Jordan is that dumb!
• When Kevin spoke to Jordan, she said she's sure that Natalie and Kevin would pick each other for the final two.
• Jordan doesn't think she can beat Natalie in the final two with the jury.
• Both Natalie and Kevin have hinted that the diary room seems to want them to keep one over the other (Jordan, Michele) but I can't get a handle on which one. I believe it may be Michele but the feeds kept getting blocked every time they talked about it.
  
• Natalie is worried that Kevin will betray her and keep Michele.
• Natalie is also planning to throw the endurance part of the comp and is wondering how long after Jordan she should fall.
• Kevin denies he will betray Natalie.
• I wish he would. As much as I think Jordan is a sweetie, I think Michele would be a better final three competitor for us to watch.
  

Big Brother 11 Live Feeds Monday 9/07

I hope everyone had a fine Labor Day holiday. You needn't worry about missing any huge events in the Big Brother house ... that's for sure. Usually it's not this boring until that silly extended stay of the final two.

• The BB staff must be on holiday -- the wake-up call in the house wasn't until almost 11 AM (their time).
• An indoor lockdown started at noon and is expected to last two days.
• Natalie told Kevin that the endurance comp starts Tuesday and the final comp is Thursday night.
• Well, duh. I figured that out on my own.
• Natalie doesn't want either Jordan or Michele to find out the timing.
• Michele doesn't need Natalie, though. She told Jordan it's a live eviction show tomorrow.
• Michele and Jordan packed. Natalie did the HOH blogging.
• Jackie ate snacks.
• Natalie thinks she did harm to herself in her goodbye messages.
• Yeah, that could be true.
• Natalie is upset that her HOH reign is shortened. She wants to keep the room.
• @@
• They all napped.
• They munched.
• They played cards.
• The plan is still to evict Michele. There hasn't been a PoV meeting, but it's obvious that Kevin will take himself off and Jordan will go up.