TV Newsy Bits - Saturday, December 16, 2006

The Amazing Race wrapped up last week; Survivor's big finale is tomorrow. Heroes, Lost, and Jericho are all sitting dormant. Whatever will a TV fan do?

Well, there are a lot of holiday doings and holiday television out there for the watching. American Idol and our favorite shows will return soon. We can make it!

Here are the TV Newsy Bits I found out there this morning:

• Reality News Online has a transcript of Parvati's (recent Survivor boot) The Early Show appearance, as well as a separate interview with her. I think she comes across better in the interview than she did with me in the show. (But I'm still glad she got the boot. Go Ozzy or Yul!)
• Jack Osbourne as a cop? Say it ain't so! The rather bizarre concept for a new CBS reality show Armed & Famous is explained in this Celebrity Spider article.
• AOL Television News is reporting that Oprah and ABC will be producing two new reality television shows. Oprah, eh? Hmmm... the tentative titles are The Big Give and Your Money or Your Life. Um, what money, I ask? Oprah's or mine?

Today's Lyrical Non Sequitur of the Day:

"Could we have kippers for breakfast
Mummy dear, Mummy dear
They got to have 'em in Texas
'Cause everyone's a millionaire." -- "Breakfast in America" - Supertramp

Happy Chanukah!

Holiday Televison Programming - This Weekend - December 16 - 17

Are you done with your holiday shopping? Or, perhaps you just want to relax a few hours watching a holiday movie on television? Maybe you want to shop from home - shopping networks QVC and HSN (amongst others) are all holiday gifts all the time throughout the weekend.

This list isn't all of the holiday programs; I don't list premium cable or local shows. So you may wish to check your local listings.

Saturday, December 16:

• 7 AM ET/PT - ABC Family - Dear Santa
• 8 AM ET/PT - ABC Family - Chasing Christmas (movie)
• 10 AM ET/PT - ABC Family - Scrooged (movie)
• 10 AM ET/PT - History Channel - The Christmas Truce
• 12 Noon ET/PT - ABC Family - Mr. St. Nick (movie)
• 12 Noon ET/PT - Cartoon Network - The Legend of Frosty the Snowman
• 1 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - A Dad For Christmas (movie)
• 1 PM ET/PT - Cartoon Network - The Night Before Christmas: A Mouse Tale
• 2 PM ET/PT - Cartoon Network - A Lost Claus
• 2 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Santa Baby (movie)
• 2:30 PM ET/PT - Cartoon Network - Bravo Christmas
• 3 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - I'll Be Home For Christmas (movie)
• 4 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Christmas in Boston (movie)
• 5 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - Borrowed Hearts (movie)
• 5 PM ET/PT - HGTV - A White House Christmas 2006
• 5 PM ET/PT - Food Network - Sandra Lee's Semi-Homemade Holiday
• 5:30 PM ET/PT - AMC - Jurassic Park (movie)
• 6 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Three Days (movie)
• 7 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - A Christmas Wedding (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - CBS - Elf (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - NBC - It's a Wonderful Life (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - ABC - Finding Nemo (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Christmas Do-Over (movie)
• 8 & 10:30 PM ET/PT - AMC - Prancer (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - TNT - Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (movie)
• 9 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - The Christmas Wish (movie)

Sunday, December 17:

• Midnight ET/PT - Lifetime - The Man Who Saved Christmas (movie)
• 2 AM ET/PT - TBS - Richie Rich (movie)
• 8:15 AM ET/PT - AMC - Prancer (movie)
• 9:30 AM ET/PT - ABC Family - Richie Rich's Christmas Wish (movie)
• 10 AM ET/PT - Bravo - Madonna: The Confessions Tour, Live From London
• 10:30 AM ET/PT - TNT - The Wizard of Oz (movie)
• 11 AM ET/PT - Lifetime - Ebbie (movie)
• 11:30 AM ET/PT - Cartoon Network - Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer
• 11:30 AM ET/PT - ABC Family - I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (movie)
• Noon ET/PT - CW - Christmas Parade
• Noon ET/PT - Bravo - A Clay Aiken Christmas
• 1 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - Holiday Affair (movie)
• 1:30 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Once Upon a Christmas (movie)
• 2 PM ET/PT - CW - Mouse Hunt (movie)
• 3 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - Comfort and Joy (movie)
• 3:30 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Twice Upon a Christmas (movie)
• 4 PM ET/PT - TBS - Home Alone (movie)
• 4 PM ET/PT - Food Network - Wintertime Treats Unwrapped
• 5 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - Recipe for a Perfect Christmas (movie)
• 5 PM ET/PT - HGTV - What's With That Christmas House?
• 5 PM ET/PT - Food Network - The Secret Life of Christmas
• 5:30 & 8 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - How the Grinch Stole Christmas (movie)
• 6 PM ET/PT - Food Network - A Barefoot Contessa Holiday
• 7 PM ET/PT - ABC - A Charlie Brown Christmas
• 7 PM ET/PT - PAX - The Santa Trap (movie)
• 7 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - Under the Mistletoe (movie)
• 7 PM ET/PT - Food Network - Nigella Bites Christmas Special
• 8 PM ET/PT - CBS - Survivor 13: Cook Islands Season Finale
• 8 PM ET/PT - ABC - The Santa Clause 2 (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - TBS - National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (movie)
• 8 PM ET/PT - Food Network - Emeril's Happy Happy Holidays
• 9 PM ET/PT - Lifetime - The Road to Christmas (movie)
• 10:30 PM ET/PT - ABC Family - Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer & the Island of the Misfit Toys

'Survivor 13: Cook Islands' - Ep. 13 -or- "Adam Can't Hold His Mud"

Don't forget... the big Survivor 13: Cook Islands finale starts Sunday night at 8 p.m. ET/PT in most viewing areas. It's a two-hour finale followed by an hour long reunion show.

But what about tonight? Can Ozzy be stopped? Is Yul really a puppetmaster? How about that Becky - is she really sneaky? Is Parvati really Shallow? (Yes, that's her last name, so she is.)

Six remain. Who will be voted out tonight?

Well, the show didn't dilly-dally too long and pretty much jumped right into action (after a brief recap, that is) with treemail. Yes, it was the Reward Challenge and from the verse within the treemail, the castaways guessed mud wrestling - a fun sport indeed.

They were sort of close. It was mud. They had to go into a mudpit, gather as much mud as they could on their bodies, then go through a wooden fence and dump it into their designated buckets. They couldn't use their hands to carry the mud. Ozzy got inventive and gathered a pile in his hair and on the back of his neck. He was driven. Adam really didn't look as muddy as the rest. For the longest time he was the only one not using his hair to gather mud. Yul was gathering the mud on the small of his back and walking hunched over.

Ozzy, in his typical Ozzy fashion, worked it. He easily won with 45 pounds of mud in his bucket after the ten minutes they were allowed. That's about twice as much as anyone else had. Second was Parvati with 24 pounds, third Yul with 22½ pounds. Adam gathered 22 pounds while Sundra and Becky only got 20 pounds each. The funniest part of the challenge was when they all stopped competing and actually looked at each other - Revenge of the Mud Thing!

The reward? The winner and the two highest mud-packers won an overnight trip to a luxury spa, a feast which included alcohol, and lots of festivities. As the winner, Ozzy also chose someone to go to Exhile Island. Since his likely choices would be non-ex-Aitu tribe members, it was a given he'd choose Adam as Parvati was going on Reward. And, so he did.

Becky and Sundra went back to camp, mud and all. While there Becky couldn't get over how much Ozzy beat them by with the mud. She went on another "better get him out sooner rather than later" diatribe. Sundra seemed to agree. They all like Ozzy, but he's unstoppable. He throws himself into each challenge like some kind of winning machine.

Adam thought he'd spend his time in Exile just resting up for the Immunity Challenge, but the weather had another plan. A storm rolled in and he spent most of the night awake, wet, and cold. But, before the storm, at least he ate something. "Who needs fire when you can eat food raw?" Blech, I think it was a crab he was eating.

At the luxury spa, they showered off the mud - Ozzy had "I "heart" it" carved in the drying mud on his chest. He "hearted" a shower a lot more, though. They feasted and partied, then the power went out in the storm. But did it stop the party? Nope! Native dancers danced by candlelight and the good times went on. Then Yul, Ozzy, and Parvati went skinnydipping in the hot tub. Parvati and Ozzy flirted a lot, much to Yul's dismay. He observed it and said in confessional that he was worried she was trying to use Ozzy.

Reunited back at camp, Yul and Becky discussed their concerns about Ozzy. Both are very wary, but Yul doesn't seem to want to take the leap to actively get him out. Yul said in a confessional that no one has a chance against Ozzy with the jury. I think he's right. I had some qualms about Ozzy's attitude in the beginning of the show - he had a chip on his shoulder. But, dang... he's giving it his all. If he wins it all, he deserves it.

Off to the Immunity Challenge! This one should have been easier for the women as it included a balance beam, but that wasn't the case. The castaways had to walk across multi-level balance beams, retrieve four bundles of puzzle parts one at a time, then build a table with their puzzle parts, and guide two cannonballs through a groove to the corner pockets. This been a very puzzling season. Too puzzling at times!

Of course, Ozzy just zipped through the retrievals and his only opposition was Yul. Yul wasn't as quick on the balance beams, but at least he was making his puzzle table at the same time as Ozzy. Parvati was in running for third while Becky took one really painful-looking fall, but kept at it. Sundra and Adam looked like comedy routines falling all over the place. Both were totally off the map as far as winning goes.

So Ozzy won Immunity once again. Can he be stopped? I don't know. Back at the camp, both Adam and Parvati tried to get in his good graces. They want to vote Sundra or Becky (preferably the former) out and tried to get Ozzy to vote with them. He wouldn't commit.

Adam then approached Yul, the Survivor Godfather Puppetmaster Dude. pleading his case. Yul assured him that he "thought" he'd be okay. When talking to Parvati, Yul told her that he personally thought Adam was a bigger threat while "the others" may consider her the biggest threat. He "thought" she'd be okay. I guess he's the Diplomatic Survivor Godfather Puppetmaster Dude.

When Sundra, Yul, and Becky noticed that Parvati and Adam were working on Ozzy, they put an end to that by casually joining them. They thought Ozzy was still with them, but were worried.

As it turned out, no need to worry. There was no rat or weasel calling at Tribal Council, although many (including Jeff) questioned Yul's motives for returning Jonathan's hat. But the vote went by Aitu clockwork. Adam and Parvati voted for Sundra while all of the ex-Aitu voted for Parvati. Buh-bye, Parvati.

Jeff mentioned that on the finale there would be three Tribal Councils and a surprise. Too bad the twists have hit the fan already, or something to that effect.

'Survivor 13: Cook Islands' East Coast Update - 12/14 - Boot

Along old Aitu lines, Parvati was voted off. She and Adam voted for Sundra.

A full review/recap will be posted late tonight - c'mon back and chat about the show!

'Survivor 13: Cook Islands' East Coast Update - 12/14 - Immunity

Ozzy won Immunity once again.

Don't tell me you're surprised.