'American Idol 6' - The Final Eight Go Latino... Kind Of, Sort Of

Oh, my gosh. Put a bunch of young non-Latinos singing to a Latin beat and Sanjaya comes up smelling like a rose out of Spanish Harlem?

Yikes.

Coached by Jennifer Lopez, the contestants had the chance to turn the beat around this week. And, for the most part, they reminded me of Billy Crystal doing the "white man's overbite" in When Harry Met Sally.

Melinda Doolittle was first up on the stage. In my opinion, her voice itself is impeccable, even incredible. She sang "Sway" by Pablo Beltran Ruiz. On key, professional, but it just didn't grasp me the way I know she can. The judges seemed to feel the same was as I did to some extent. Technically, it was very well done. Randy said it was a solid performance. Paula called it "smooth, subtle, and sexy." Simon didn't care for it much. He said it was lounge, cabaret, lazy, and wooden.

LaKisha Jones sang Gloria Estefan's "Conga." Again, she did fine. She hit the notes, she even danced to the beat. But, it wasn't a LaKisha bring-down-the-house kind of performance. Randy thought it was hot and she had a good time. Paula thought it was a safe performance. Simon agreed with Paula. I agree with the both of them.

Chris Richardson sang a song I actually own and enjoy -- "Smooth" by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas. I wasn't impressed at all. I think he was a bit less nasal-sounding this week and it was a good performance for him. But if I heard his version of the song first, I never would have bought it. But the judges disagreed with me. Randy thought he did a good job, very cool. Paula thought it was a hot performance and sexy. Simon preferred it to the first two as it wasn't
"cabaret."

Then it was Haley Scarnato's turn. Yipes. Can her skirt get any shorter? And what's with that little sexy kick she keeps doing? She sang "Turn the Beat Around" by Gloria Estefan. I think she flirted more than sang it, but that may just be me. She's bugging me more each week. If her sex appeal to the guys doesn't rock the vote this week, she's a goner tomorrow night. Randy said the performance was karaoke. Paula said it was a fun song. (Say what?) Simon said her tactic is to wear the least amount of clothes. (Spot on!) Haley gave Simon the evil eye, but I agree with him.

Next up was Phil Stacey, wearing a hat this week. He doesn't creep me out as much when he wears a hat, but I wasn't in love with the performance, either. He sang "Maria, Maria" by Carlos Santana and The Product G&B. I think he, for the most part, sang it okay -- his voice cracked a bit twice. But I also think it's a boring song for a show like this. I personally would rate his performance better than Chris Richardson as he shows he can have a real voice where as Chris seems to be a nasal "package" of a pop singer. Randy said it lacked passion and he didn't quite connect with the song. Paula said it was a good vocal. Simon said it was a good song choice, but lifeless and his voice cracked. I say we'll see Phil in the bottom rankings again this week and he may go home.

Jordin "Can't Go Wrong" Sparks sang Gloria Estefan's "Rhythm is Gonna Get You." Are we sure she's only seventeen? Really? She has such a professional stage presence that belies her years. She also looked very pretty tonight -- I think I prefer the straighter hair look for her. Oh? Did she sing well? Why, yes she did! Although I'd be more likely to actually buy something like a Melinda Doolittle CD of old classics, I'm leaning more towards Jordin winning this each week. Randy said she had the "yo factor." Paula said she was adorable and had a great time. Simon wasn't stunned. He mentioned the lack of progression tonight (and I think he may have meant overall, not just Jordin).

Blake Lewis sang "I Need to Know" by Marc Anthony. That's a song I sort of enjoy, but Blake didn't rock my world with it this week. He did okay and I certainly think he's still the best of the remaining guys. If any of the guys make it in the final four, it should be him. But it wasn't my favorite performance of his this week. Randy said it was a good song choice and hot. Paula said it was an excellent choice. Simon called it the best song choice and best performance of the evening. Okay, they liked it more than I did. He's safe, anyway.

Then there was Sanjaya Malakar, the kid who couldn't get words in English straight actually sang in Spanish. Now, my Spanish isn't good enough to know if he screwed up lyrics. But if he did, he recovered without skipping a beat. He sang "Besame Mucho" by Consuelo Velazquez. I think it was his personal best so far this season and may have been one of the more believable and better performances of the night. Shoot me now. Randy called him the smartest contestant and said it was really good. Paula said it was nice. Simon said it wasn't horrible.

Tomorrow night's results show has been expanded to an hour. As usual, I'll be posting East Coast Spoilers on this blog as the show airs here in the NYC area.

Was it just me not moved tonight? Can I get a witness?