'Hell's Kitchen' Season Premiere -or- "There Are Muppets In My Kitchen!"

I enjoy cooking. I enjoy baking. Folks seem to enjoy eating food I prepare. But, do I want to be a chef? Or, more specifically, do I want to go through literal hell at the hands of Chef Gordon Ramsay of Hell's Kitchen?

No way! This guy is brutal. He makes my own micro-managing boss look like an angel. And, of course, when you're talking kitchens, there are weapons there -- knives, forks, and hot stoves, oh my!

I watched this show last season mainly because there wasn't anything else which interested me in the time slot. I ended up getting hooked on the show. So, here I am.

Tonight's season premiere was less of the touted two-hour special than it was two episodes shown one after the other. The events occurring were obviously two separate shows, not one grand ol' cookin' fest. But it did the trick for me on a quiet Monday night (as well as making me feel a bit better about my own boss).

This season, the 12 contestants have been broken down by gender to two teams of six each. I'm not huge on the gender war mentality in the reality television genre, but it seems like every show goes that route if it lasts more than a season. So be it. The men are the Blue Team; the women are the Red Team. Pink obviously is too fluffy and soft for Ramsay, I'd say.

Even though I watched the two hours, I still don't have too many of the contestants down. I'm impressed with Heather -- she knows what she's doing, severely burnt her hand in the second hour yet kept giving her team direction and says things like "We do not speak in the kitchen." I'll remember that. I will only dance and hum while in my kitchen.

Others I noticed on the Red Team included Polly, way out of her league and gone in the first hour. Being a mom of six puts you through a lot but doesn't mean you can make it in Hell's Kitchen. There's a Sara who just struck me as rather odd. No one really stood out as being a possible winner other than Heather. We'll see. If we're going to play gender war, I want a woman winner!


The Blue Team has its share of oddballs, too. There's a prison cook who was a prisoner. Eep. There's a young guy named Giacomo who started off very impressively, then screwed up the side dishes in the second hour and was nominated for elimination. I wanted to like him after the first hour, but now I'm not so sure.

One of the men I know I don't care for is this fellow Tom. He sweats in the food and looks more suited to be a character actor who'd be hanging out at an off-track betting parlor than someone I'd want fixing my dinner. He was nominated for elimination in the second hour, but Ramsay saved him and wanted a different person in his place. That person, Gabe, a lost sheep, was eliminated when put up with Giacomo.

They managed to have not one, but two medical emergencies in tonight's premiere. One of the men (Larry) went to the hospital as his "body shut down due to stress." Hey, they said it, not me. He, like Gabe, was a lost sheep. He was way out of his element and he should be happy the stress nailed him in the beginning or his head would have exploded or something.

The service? Well, I hope they don't charge the customers at Hell's Kitchen, not this early in the show, anyway. I can't imagine waiting two hours for my appetizers or more than three for my entree. Yikes! On both nights they served (two shows, I tell you!), the customers ended up walking out and very few tables were served. I don't believe any tables received their entrees the first night.

The best lines of the night:

• Gordon Ramsay: "I've got Muppets in my kitchen!"
• "We've got a runner!" - one of the contestants upon discovering Larry had gone missing.

The most disgusting part of the night? It's a toss-up between Gordon Ramsay making the contestants pull all the discarded (wasted) food from the first night out of the Dumpster and the who can sweat the most contest between Tom and Keith. I'm sorry, but I don't want people who sweat like fountains near my food. I don't sweat in my own food and I'd leave a restaurant if I saw someone like that.

As I mentioned, in the first hour Polly was eliminated. I agree with that one. As for the men, I personally thought Keith who couldn't even take orders and sweated all over the place should have gone. Yes, Gabe wouldn't have lasted much longer, but at least he didn't disgust me. He was clean and neat.

So, what did I learn from the show? Hmmm...don't sweat in the food. Don't overcook the pasta. Keep my side dishes and meat timed to arrive at the same time. Oh, and the most important thing, don't become a chef for anyone, especially Gordon Ramsay.

Burn baby, burn...

'The Apprentice 5' Season Finale -or- "I Hear There's An Opening In Hawaii"

As of tonight, Donald Trump has a new employee in his organization after a grueling, yet entertaining, 15-week long interview. Yep, tonight was the hour and a half live finale coming to us from the Orpheum in Hollywood, California. I found that rather unusual as all of the other seasons ended right here in the New York City area. Not that I was ever invited, mind you. (Sniffle.)

However, Trump had a card up his sleeve. The Apprentice 6 will take place in California. Dang, it just won't be the same, at least not for me. I'm used to the NYC setting, know the areas and often see familiar sights. Yes, I lived for a few years outside of Los Angeles, but we're talking first grade. I think it's changed since then. Ah, well...on with the show...

The finalists -- Lee Bienstock and Sean Yazbeck -- were still amidst their final tasks as I wrote in last week's entry. Lee was in charge of a celebrity hockey game fundraiser at Chelsea Piers (NYC), while Sean was in charge of a Bare Naked Ladies rock concert fundraiser at Trump's Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Both had woes. In my opinion, Lee chose a horrible team. No matter how much loyalty he feels with Lenny, the man is not good for business. Pepi? He chose Pepi, fired in Week Two. Roxanne had some strong points, better than Lenny and Pepi, but...! And, then Sean had a strong team -- Tarek, Andrea and Tammy -- but Andrea had a health crisis and went running off to a doctor. Eep.

As we watched them complete their tasks this week, both still had woes. Yes, Andrea returned (which is great as she's a very strong team member). Her health crisis turned out to be a burst blood vessel in her sinuses. But Sean delegated too much responsibility to Tarek, in particular. Tarek actually did well, but even Trump's representative George commented on it, so it wasn't just me.

Lee was totally disorganized and really turned off the fundraisers by not having everything planned. Then he went and put Lenny (of all people!) in charge of the celebrities! What the hell was he thinking? Lenny all but deserted them, offended the fundraiser folks with ill-timed jokes and even got Lee ticked at him.

In the end, both candidates managed to get their acts together, although I don't think Jaime Pressley (the auctioneer for the hockey event) ever wants to see Lenny again. To quote her, "You're not together, little Apprentice Boy!" Nonetheless, both Sean and Lee seemed to have success with their events in the end. I'll admit I couldn't do it.

The task endings, as well as recaps on both Lee and Sean, were filmed and shown to the live finale show audience on a huge screen. Live hooplah included Trump asking his Trumplets, Donald and Ivanka, who they'd choose to win. Neither committed. Nor would George commit. This season's other candidates were split pretty much down the middle, too. Perhaps Sean had one more in his court than Lee did. Finally, Carolyn committed and chose Sean. Judging from the audience, Sean was a more popular choice.

Me? I wasn't thrilled with either of them, but I'm sure both will go on to success in business. But, they once again didn't ask me. Well, they did, but I didn't vote online for either candidate. I decided to be an apathetic slug. Or something. I thought Lee was too sneaky and Sean wasn't on top of things. Maybe I could have voted for Brent!

Trump told them that there were two job locations from which they could choose. No, each didn't get a job. He indicated that their choice may play a role in his choice of the winner, but that didn't come to play as both chose the same location. The choices were Hawaii or Soho (a nifty-keen quaint ritzy neighborhood in New York City that is being ruined with stupid highrises - my opinion, of course). Both chose Soho.

When Trump revealed the general vote from the online audience, he said it was overwhelmingly in support of one candidate. He chose the same one for the win, but said it was a hard decision.

The envelope, please. Um...okay, no envelope. The winner of The Apprentice 5 is Sean Yazbeck, the Brit in Miami. Throw confetti, dance and sing...if you must.

Just a few tidbits:

• Sean said he plans to marry Tammy (aw, golly gee, how sweet)
• Was Andrea wearing jeans? What was up with that?
• Denis Leary broke the NYC law by smoking in that locker room.
• Those Pontiac G6 cars are really attractive. May I have one?
• Trump believes you must take credit, blow your own horn, in business. Why am I not surprised?
• Hmm...it seems to me that there is a position open in Hawaii. Should I apply?
• Brent had to jockey for position to shake Trump's hand one more time.
• Lenny is still surly and a step behind the world.

All in all, I was entertained this season, more than I have been for the past few. After all, I'm not applying for a job with Donald Trump. I'm just sitting here writing about a television show. If it entertains me, then it did its job. Donald Trump, I guess you're hired. (The paycheck is in the mail. Really. Would I lie?)

Thanks for reading this season and I'm sure to be watching next season.

Until then...

Dollar bills, y'all...

'The Apprentice 5' - Ep. 14 -or- "The Prelude to a Finale"

I wasn't expecting much from this latest episode of The Apprentice as it's basically just setting things in place for next week's season finale. And, sure enough, I wasn't delivered much. So, no recap/review this week.

Oh, okay, since you're here and reading and all...

The show opened with Roxanne and Allie getting fired once again. Been there, done that! Lee and Sean, the only two remaining candidates, were awaiting the return of one of the girls to the suite. Lee was already chowing down and Sean, perhaps the more mannerly of the two, decided against waiting. After all, his Tammy is gone and he felt her firing was the work of Roxanne and Allie. They received a phone call instructing them to head to the Boardroom immediately. Of course, they had no clue both women had been fired, so they fussed while dressing to meet Trump. Once there, he gave them the news they were the final two. So, it's the Politician against the Brit, friend against friend.


Trump told them they were about to undertake the hardest task in the fifteen-week long interview. They would have to select a team of three to lead in the task from previous candidates and meet Trump in the morning.

Little did they know that all their former rivals for the position were waiting for them at the suite. Woohoo, a par-tay! All of the former candidates were vying to be on the teams. Sean had his team selected -- Tammy (of course), Andrea and Tarek. Other than Lenny as a definite, Lee seemed a bit more undecided with his decision. He finally settled on Lenny, Roxanne and Pepe.

Pepe? I had forgotten he existed! Was it the second week that he went? Yikes! I personally have some doubts about Lee's team. I know Lenny is fiercely loyal to him and that's why he was chosen. But Lenny is abrasive, falls back on his "I'm Russian; I didn't know" bit too much and he could be a detriment. Why Roxanne and Pepe, I haven't a clue.

The teams had a choice of two fund-raising, celebrity-laden tasks. They had to manage all aspects -- business, creative and logistics. Sean, whose team became Synergy, took the BareNaked Ladies (rock group) performance at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. He only got that as Lee handed it over to him, taking a celebrity hockey game at Chelsea Piers instead. It was an act of good will or perhaps politics on Lee's part.

As the teams got into the tasks, they realized how much they had to do. I think Sean and his team were more on top of things as Lee seemed clueless about so much. Both teams appeared to be overwhelmed.

Sean got a decent start, touring the facilities at the Taj Mahal and such. However, he seemed to be letting his affection for Tammy take him over a bit. Tarek and Andrea, thankfully, are both strong and smart.

Oh, but, Lee! He managed to offend Denis Leary's representative for one of the big recipients of the proceeds. He missed an opportunity with one of the Pontiac folks where he could possibly have gained matching funds. Even Carolyn commented that he was too laidback and not showing good leadership qualities.

Then Sean faced his own team dilemma. While I never liked Andrea, she is a smart woman and an important part of the team. For unbeknownst reasons, she started coughing up blood and ran off to the doctor.

Oh, no! What will happen? It's a cliffhanger, I guess. The task completion wasn't shown; the last we saw was Andrea walking away crying. The finale show is next Monday, June 5 at 9:30 ET/PT in most viewing areas. In the meantime, viewers are encouraged to vote for their favorite at the NBC website and could even win $30,000. If you visit that site, don't bother with Trump's Blog -- it's "notes" from the Trump University. Yes, I rolled my eyes and deep-sighed, too!

Lee and Sean have their respective sites begging for votes, too.

Me? I won't bother voting. I think Lee will win, but right now it's not looking too good for him. But he has a history of succeeding while always on the brink of failure.

Dollar bills, y'all...

'American Idol' Finale East Coast Update - The Winner Is...

...Taylor Hicks!

The Summer of Reality (TV) Is Coming

Remember the olden days of television? There was little new content for the summer, thus we had to be content to watch repeats with the exception of a few variety shows. An example of summer fare was The Summer Smothers Brothers Show circa the late-sixties. There were other beach-related shows, too. But, that was about it. Mostly, television was reruns all through the lazy, hazy days of summer.

In the current TV market, networks compete with each other for viewers, and for the even more important advertising dollars. In scouting around for this year's summer shows, I found it to be a Summer of Reality TV more often than not. So, if you're not a reality television genre fan, you might end up with reruns or feel free to accompany your child to summer camp!

Now, this is by no means a complete list of all the new summer shows (and returning ones) for the season, but I took a look at the big networks to see the major players in the market.

On CBS this summer:
Of course, there's my guilty pleasure summer staple, Big Brother. This year, BB7 is being called Big Brother All-Stars.
Dates to mark on your calendar:
Wednesday June 21, as from the CBS website -

For the first time in BIG BROTHER history worldwide, viewers will vote on which former HouseGuests will compete in BIG BROTHER 7: ALL-STARS. On CBS Wednesday, June 21 at 8PM ET/PT, Julie Chen will unveil the top 20 candidates from seasons past. Web voting opens right here [CBS.com site] after the show at midnight ET/9PM PT. The polls close Wednesday, June 28 at 11:59PM ET/8:59PM PT

Thursday July 6 at 8 PM ET/PT, it's the season premiere.
Just a note: I'll once again be blogging the live feeds in some capacity although it's too early to announce any details. Stay tuned!

RockStar: Supernova will premiere on Wednesday July 5 at 8 PM ET/PT. The second episode will be shown after the season premiere of Big Brother All-Stars the next day, then the regular day and time will be Wednesdays at 8 PM ET/PT. This is the second season for the show; last year's band was INXS. This season a new band (Supernova) will be formed with the winner accompanying former Motley Crüe drummer Tommy Lee, former Metallica guitarist Jason Newsted, and former Guns N' Roses guitarist Gilby Clarke. The music genre isn't so much my cuppa tea, so I probably won't tune in too much to the show, though I'll give it a look-see from time to time.

On ABC this summer:
ABC-TV only has one of its expected five summer reality shows featured on its website - How to Get the Guy - a "romantic reality series." The premiere is slated for Monday June 12 at 10 PM ET/PT. I tend to not watch reality television dating shows, so don't look to me for reports on this one.

Other shows previously-announced, but no premiere dates available are:
1. Master of Champions - Six competitors vying each other in extreme challenges.
2. The One: Making a Music Star - This one follows musical academy aspiring singers and the audience will vote one candidate off each week. It sounds a bit lifted from American Idol in concept. I may or may not watch.
3. Buy It Now - This one is a bit of a fresh concept mixed with a house-makeover kind of family dream (or something similar). A family puts up prized possessions for auction on EBay; neighbors and friends also put items up for auction to help the family realize their dream. It's to be aired twice a week. I'm just using the remodel show concept as a comparison -- the dreams may be very different. Heck, they may want to go to DisneyWorld.
4. One Ocean View - Five young NYC professionals spend summer weekends at an exclusive beach. These Friends may remind us of The Real World as one of the producers of the MTV series has a hand in the series.

On NBC this summer:
Wednesday June 21 starting at 8 PM ET/PT is the two-hour premiere of America's Got Talent. This one is on my list to watch. Created and produced by American Idol's Simon Cowell and hosted by Regis Philbin -- I predict a summer hit! Yes, a talent contest, but an all-encompassing one, not just singing. I'm psyched for the debut!

The other summer show on NBC that I'm very interested in watching is Treasure Hunters. It sounds like a cross between The Amazing Race and The Da Vinci Code (sans the religious aspect). The two-hour season premiere is on Sunday June 18 starting at 8 PM ET/PT. After that, its regular day and time will be Mondays at 9 PM ET/PT. Here's a bit of what the NBC website had to say about the show:

In this fast-paced adventure reality series, multi-player teams try to stay one step ahead of each other as they are mentally and physically challenged in their quest of a promised hidden treasure. The teams must avoid elimination as they travel to historically significant locations where they must decipher cryptic codes and puzzles, each with a clue leading them closer to solving the ultimate puzzle, and obtaining the coveted grand prize.

Last Comic Standing returns for its third summer stint Tuesday May 30 at 8 PM ET/PT. I may check it out now and then, but I lost interest in the show after the first season. I liked Rich Vos and he's a very local guy I actually talk to now and then, so I watched for him. Since then, yawn. (Well, for me, at least!)

On FOX this summer:
Hell's Kitchen's second season premieres Monday June 12 at 9 PM ET/PT. I enjoyed the first season with really-ranting chef Gordon Ramsay. I'll be watching. Or taping.

On Thursday May 25 (tomorrow) at 8 PM ET/PT, it's the second season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance. I can take this show or leave it. I enjoyed the start of last season, but lost interest halfway through the season. I'll probably give it a glance now and then dependent on what's up against it. And, no. I don't think I can dance. If you saw me dance, you'd agree.

So, there's a bit of what's on the TV this summer. I have a few shows I'm really looking forward to watching, but predict I'll be listening to a lot of music and reading. Oh. And watching Big Brother live feeds and blogging. Now, that's a summer!