This Week In Reality TV

Summer is really heating up for the Reality TV genre fans! This week sees in the start of the highly anticipated (for me, anyway!) new series Treasure Hunters, the premiere of America’s Got Talent, and the pre-start of this season’s upcoming Big Brother 7: All Stars. Meanwhile, recent new seasons of returning series are building their audiences and providing us dedicated television fans fresh entertainment during the sultry summer nights.

Here’s the skinny on what’s going on this week in Reality Television:

Treasure Hunters - This new show debuts tonight (Sunday, June 18) at 8 PM ET/PT in most viewing areas. This one is well-hyped by the network, perhaps trying to tie in with The Da Vinci Code madness. It looks like we’re in for a wild Amazing Race/The Da Vinci Code worldwide romp as viewers are even offered the opportunity to win cash playing along on the show’s website. From that site:

From the producers of The Da Vinci Code, Project Runway and Top Chef! In this fast-paced adventure reality series, multi-player teams face mental and physical challenges in their quest for hidden treasure. The teams must avoid elimination as they travel to remote locations where they decipher cryptic codes that lead them closer to the ultimate prize.

The two-hour season premiere is tonight, but the regular day and time for the series is Monday nights at 9 PM ET/PT. On Monday, June 19, NBC has NHL hockey in the time slot, so look for the second show on June 26.

Hell’s Kitchen - Perhaps it’s my deep-within sadistic inner child looking for redemption, but I get a kick out of Chef Gordon Ramsay going berserk in the kitchen with chef-wannabes who aspire to run ritzy restaurant kitchens. I couldn’t do it; I wouldn’t do it. In “real life” I despise Ramsay-like mean people. But it’s “good TV.” This second season pits men against women for the position of their dreams. It looks like FOX TV is continuing to run two episodes in a row from 8 to 10 PM ET/PT on Mondays, with the first episode a repeat from last week. After this week, this will conflict with Treasure Hunters for me. Thank you whomever invented the VCR, I love you!

Fear Factor - Now, I’m not a huge fan of this show. Since its inception, I believe I’ve watched perhaps five episodes. However, for the Reality TV fan, this is the season you may want to watch. This season’s contestants are previous reality show “stars” from shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race, to name a few. It airs on NBC Tuesday nights at 8 PM ET/PT. Me? I ate a caterpillar when I was a child and had to go to the emergency room to have bristles removed from my lips and mouth. Watching people eat worms tends to put me in post traumatic horror. Or something.

Last Comic Standing - This week it’s past the auditions and into the house for the comedian-contestants. I personally haven’t been too faithful to this show since the season of hometown guy Rich Vos. So far I have watched this season and perhaps will keep checking in. I want to see how Joshua Blue handles comedy sets not dealing with his disability, but I enjoy his disability-related stuff, too. It’s sort of like John Callahan with his cartooning -- sometimes you just have to laugh at the blows life deals to you. If you don’t, well…you’ll be a miserable bitter so-and-so. The show airs on NBC at 9 PM ET/PT. Check your local listings and remember…I’m funnier than Dat Phan.

So You Think You Can Dance - The competition’s heating up with the dancers as we saw last week when the first couple was eliminated. Can a break-dancer or a popper do ballroom? Can a ballroom dancer dance hip-hop? For the answers to those questions and more, check out this FOX TV show which airs 8 to 10 PM ET/PT on Wednesdays followed by the elimination show at 9 PM ET/PT on Thursdays. I personally enjoyed the couple who “Broadway-danced” to “Steam Heat” last week and may or may not watch this series through to season end. I’d like to see a series based purely on the break-dancers and poppers as I find what they do amazing. Me? I can do that crazy hand-jive and know I can’t dance. I do, however, think that FOX should capitalize on this format. I can see it now -- So You Think You Can Skydive or So You Think You Can Walk Bad Neighborhoods In Camden (NJ) At 2 AM. The possibilities are endless!

Big Brother 7: All Stars - America’s Vote - Oh, if you know me, you know I’ll be watching! I’m not too keen on “All Stars” versions of reality television shows, but I’m a true BB fan at heart, so the season is a given for me. This Wednesday (June 21) at 8 PM ET/PT, it’s a pre-season show giving America the opportunity to vote previous houseguests back into the house. From what I’ve read, it’s a bit limited as far as who might be available for the return to Hell in a House, but I think it could be quite intriguing. I’m a people observer with live feeds. Just, please, America -- do not vote either Holly or Alison back in, I beg you! I beseech you! The regular season premieres Thursday, July 6, at 8 PM ET/PT.

America’s Got Talent - Another ballyhooed NBC series premiere is on the slate! Like Treasure Hunters (even more so), I’m eagerly anticipating this series! Created and produced by Simon Cowell of American Idol fame and hosted by the much-beloved Regis Philbin, it’s a talent contest which goes the realm of…of…um…whatever! The two-hour season premiere is this Wednesday, June 21, at 9 PM ET/PT. Be there or be square.

Of course, my listing here tends to focus on shows in which I’m interested, but I’m the one writing the article. If you have a reality show you enjoy or are looking forward to watching, let me know! This is going to be a big TV week for this TV fan, I tell you.

'Hell's Kitchen' Season Premiere -or- "There Are Muppets In My Kitchen!"

I enjoy cooking. I enjoy baking. Folks seem to enjoy eating food I prepare. But, do I want to be a chef? Or, more specifically, do I want to go through literal hell at the hands of Chef Gordon Ramsay of Hell's Kitchen?

No way! This guy is brutal. He makes my own micro-managing boss look like an angel. And, of course, when you're talking kitchens, there are weapons there -- knives, forks, and hot stoves, oh my!

I watched this show last season mainly because there wasn't anything else which interested me in the time slot. I ended up getting hooked on the show. So, here I am.

Tonight's season premiere was less of the touted two-hour special than it was two episodes shown one after the other. The events occurring were obviously two separate shows, not one grand ol' cookin' fest. But it did the trick for me on a quiet Monday night (as well as making me feel a bit better about my own boss).

This season, the 12 contestants have been broken down by gender to two teams of six each. I'm not huge on the gender war mentality in the reality television genre, but it seems like every show goes that route if it lasts more than a season. So be it. The men are the Blue Team; the women are the Red Team. Pink obviously is too fluffy and soft for Ramsay, I'd say.

Even though I watched the two hours, I still don't have too many of the contestants down. I'm impressed with Heather -- she knows what she's doing, severely burnt her hand in the second hour yet kept giving her team direction and says things like "We do not speak in the kitchen." I'll remember that. I will only dance and hum while in my kitchen.

Others I noticed on the Red Team included Polly, way out of her league and gone in the first hour. Being a mom of six puts you through a lot but doesn't mean you can make it in Hell's Kitchen. There's a Sara who just struck me as rather odd. No one really stood out as being a possible winner other than Heather. We'll see. If we're going to play gender war, I want a woman winner!


The Blue Team has its share of oddballs, too. There's a prison cook who was a prisoner. Eep. There's a young guy named Giacomo who started off very impressively, then screwed up the side dishes in the second hour and was nominated for elimination. I wanted to like him after the first hour, but now I'm not so sure.

One of the men I know I don't care for is this fellow Tom. He sweats in the food and looks more suited to be a character actor who'd be hanging out at an off-track betting parlor than someone I'd want fixing my dinner. He was nominated for elimination in the second hour, but Ramsay saved him and wanted a different person in his place. That person, Gabe, a lost sheep, was eliminated when put up with Giacomo.

They managed to have not one, but two medical emergencies in tonight's premiere. One of the men (Larry) went to the hospital as his "body shut down due to stress." Hey, they said it, not me. He, like Gabe, was a lost sheep. He was way out of his element and he should be happy the stress nailed him in the beginning or his head would have exploded or something.

The service? Well, I hope they don't charge the customers at Hell's Kitchen, not this early in the show, anyway. I can't imagine waiting two hours for my appetizers or more than three for my entree. Yikes! On both nights they served (two shows, I tell you!), the customers ended up walking out and very few tables were served. I don't believe any tables received their entrees the first night.

The best lines of the night:

• Gordon Ramsay: "I've got Muppets in my kitchen!"
• "We've got a runner!" - one of the contestants upon discovering Larry had gone missing.

The most disgusting part of the night? It's a toss-up between Gordon Ramsay making the contestants pull all the discarded (wasted) food from the first night out of the Dumpster and the who can sweat the most contest between Tom and Keith. I'm sorry, but I don't want people who sweat like fountains near my food. I don't sweat in my own food and I'd leave a restaurant if I saw someone like that.

As I mentioned, in the first hour Polly was eliminated. I agree with that one. As for the men, I personally thought Keith who couldn't even take orders and sweated all over the place should have gone. Yes, Gabe wouldn't have lasted much longer, but at least he didn't disgust me. He was clean and neat.

So, what did I learn from the show? Hmmm...don't sweat in the food. Don't overcook the pasta. Keep my side dishes and meat timed to arrive at the same time. Oh, and the most important thing, don't become a chef for anyone, especially Gordon Ramsay.

Burn baby, burn...

'The Apprentice 5' Season Finale -or- "I Hear There's An Opening In Hawaii"

As of tonight, Donald Trump has a new employee in his organization after a grueling, yet entertaining, 15-week long interview. Yep, tonight was the hour and a half live finale coming to us from the Orpheum in Hollywood, California. I found that rather unusual as all of the other seasons ended right here in the New York City area. Not that I was ever invited, mind you. (Sniffle.)

However, Trump had a card up his sleeve. The Apprentice 6 will take place in California. Dang, it just won't be the same, at least not for me. I'm used to the NYC setting, know the areas and often see familiar sights. Yes, I lived for a few years outside of Los Angeles, but we're talking first grade. I think it's changed since then. Ah, well...on with the show...

The finalists -- Lee Bienstock and Sean Yazbeck -- were still amidst their final tasks as I wrote in last week's entry. Lee was in charge of a celebrity hockey game fundraiser at Chelsea Piers (NYC), while Sean was in charge of a Bare Naked Ladies rock concert fundraiser at Trump's Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Both had woes. In my opinion, Lee chose a horrible team. No matter how much loyalty he feels with Lenny, the man is not good for business. Pepi? He chose Pepi, fired in Week Two. Roxanne had some strong points, better than Lenny and Pepi, but...! And, then Sean had a strong team -- Tarek, Andrea and Tammy -- but Andrea had a health crisis and went running off to a doctor. Eep.

As we watched them complete their tasks this week, both still had woes. Yes, Andrea returned (which is great as she's a very strong team member). Her health crisis turned out to be a burst blood vessel in her sinuses. But Sean delegated too much responsibility to Tarek, in particular. Tarek actually did well, but even Trump's representative George commented on it, so it wasn't just me.

Lee was totally disorganized and really turned off the fundraisers by not having everything planned. Then he went and put Lenny (of all people!) in charge of the celebrities! What the hell was he thinking? Lenny all but deserted them, offended the fundraiser folks with ill-timed jokes and even got Lee ticked at him.

In the end, both candidates managed to get their acts together, although I don't think Jaime Pressley (the auctioneer for the hockey event) ever wants to see Lenny again. To quote her, "You're not together, little Apprentice Boy!" Nonetheless, both Sean and Lee seemed to have success with their events in the end. I'll admit I couldn't do it.

The task endings, as well as recaps on both Lee and Sean, were filmed and shown to the live finale show audience on a huge screen. Live hooplah included Trump asking his Trumplets, Donald and Ivanka, who they'd choose to win. Neither committed. Nor would George commit. This season's other candidates were split pretty much down the middle, too. Perhaps Sean had one more in his court than Lee did. Finally, Carolyn committed and chose Sean. Judging from the audience, Sean was a more popular choice.

Me? I wasn't thrilled with either of them, but I'm sure both will go on to success in business. But, they once again didn't ask me. Well, they did, but I didn't vote online for either candidate. I decided to be an apathetic slug. Or something. I thought Lee was too sneaky and Sean wasn't on top of things. Maybe I could have voted for Brent!

Trump told them that there were two job locations from which they could choose. No, each didn't get a job. He indicated that their choice may play a role in his choice of the winner, but that didn't come to play as both chose the same location. The choices were Hawaii or Soho (a nifty-keen quaint ritzy neighborhood in New York City that is being ruined with stupid highrises - my opinion, of course). Both chose Soho.

When Trump revealed the general vote from the online audience, he said it was overwhelmingly in support of one candidate. He chose the same one for the win, but said it was a hard decision.

The envelope, please. Um...okay, no envelope. The winner of The Apprentice 5 is Sean Yazbeck, the Brit in Miami. Throw confetti, dance and sing...if you must.

Just a few tidbits:

• Sean said he plans to marry Tammy (aw, golly gee, how sweet)
• Was Andrea wearing jeans? What was up with that?
• Denis Leary broke the NYC law by smoking in that locker room.
• Those Pontiac G6 cars are really attractive. May I have one?
• Trump believes you must take credit, blow your own horn, in business. Why am I not surprised?
• Hmm...it seems to me that there is a position open in Hawaii. Should I apply?
• Brent had to jockey for position to shake Trump's hand one more time.
• Lenny is still surly and a step behind the world.

All in all, I was entertained this season, more than I have been for the past few. After all, I'm not applying for a job with Donald Trump. I'm just sitting here writing about a television show. If it entertains me, then it did its job. Donald Trump, I guess you're hired. (The paycheck is in the mail. Really. Would I lie?)

Thanks for reading this season and I'm sure to be watching next season.

Until then...

Dollar bills, y'all...

'The Apprentice 5' - Ep. 14 -or- "The Prelude to a Finale"

I wasn't expecting much from this latest episode of The Apprentice as it's basically just setting things in place for next week's season finale. And, sure enough, I wasn't delivered much. So, no recap/review this week.

Oh, okay, since you're here and reading and all...

The show opened with Roxanne and Allie getting fired once again. Been there, done that! Lee and Sean, the only two remaining candidates, were awaiting the return of one of the girls to the suite. Lee was already chowing down and Sean, perhaps the more mannerly of the two, decided against waiting. After all, his Tammy is gone and he felt her firing was the work of Roxanne and Allie. They received a phone call instructing them to head to the Boardroom immediately. Of course, they had no clue both women had been fired, so they fussed while dressing to meet Trump. Once there, he gave them the news they were the final two. So, it's the Politician against the Brit, friend against friend.


Trump told them they were about to undertake the hardest task in the fifteen-week long interview. They would have to select a team of three to lead in the task from previous candidates and meet Trump in the morning.

Little did they know that all their former rivals for the position were waiting for them at the suite. Woohoo, a par-tay! All of the former candidates were vying to be on the teams. Sean had his team selected -- Tammy (of course), Andrea and Tarek. Other than Lenny as a definite, Lee seemed a bit more undecided with his decision. He finally settled on Lenny, Roxanne and Pepe.

Pepe? I had forgotten he existed! Was it the second week that he went? Yikes! I personally have some doubts about Lee's team. I know Lenny is fiercely loyal to him and that's why he was chosen. But Lenny is abrasive, falls back on his "I'm Russian; I didn't know" bit too much and he could be a detriment. Why Roxanne and Pepe, I haven't a clue.

The teams had a choice of two fund-raising, celebrity-laden tasks. They had to manage all aspects -- business, creative and logistics. Sean, whose team became Synergy, took the BareNaked Ladies (rock group) performance at the Trump Taj Mahal in Atlantic City. He only got that as Lee handed it over to him, taking a celebrity hockey game at Chelsea Piers instead. It was an act of good will or perhaps politics on Lee's part.

As the teams got into the tasks, they realized how much they had to do. I think Sean and his team were more on top of things as Lee seemed clueless about so much. Both teams appeared to be overwhelmed.

Sean got a decent start, touring the facilities at the Taj Mahal and such. However, he seemed to be letting his affection for Tammy take him over a bit. Tarek and Andrea, thankfully, are both strong and smart.

Oh, but, Lee! He managed to offend Denis Leary's representative for one of the big recipients of the proceeds. He missed an opportunity with one of the Pontiac folks where he could possibly have gained matching funds. Even Carolyn commented that he was too laidback and not showing good leadership qualities.

Then Sean faced his own team dilemma. While I never liked Andrea, she is a smart woman and an important part of the team. For unbeknownst reasons, she started coughing up blood and ran off to the doctor.

Oh, no! What will happen? It's a cliffhanger, I guess. The task completion wasn't shown; the last we saw was Andrea walking away crying. The finale show is next Monday, June 5 at 9:30 ET/PT in most viewing areas. In the meantime, viewers are encouraged to vote for their favorite at the NBC website and could even win $30,000. If you visit that site, don't bother with Trump's Blog -- it's "notes" from the Trump University. Yes, I rolled my eyes and deep-sighed, too!

Lee and Sean have their respective sites begging for votes, too.

Me? I won't bother voting. I think Lee will win, but right now it's not looking too good for him. But he has a history of succeeding while always on the brink of failure.

Dollar bills, y'all...

'American Idol' Finale East Coast Update - The Winner Is...

...Taylor Hicks!