TV Peeves

I'm a huge television fan, as you might have guessed. Now, there are some things on the tube that I don't watch at all just because they hold no interest for me. That doesn't mean they're bad; it just means I'm not interested. I'm talking about programming such as soap operas, most sports, Jerry Springer, and such. Oh, wait. The last one might be actually "bad."

But, I don't fuss or whine about them because I know that some folks do enjoy them and they have their own fan base. Of course, the fan base for the last one may be a bit sordid, but who am I to judge? My name's not Simon Cowell and I ain't no judge no how no way.

However, there are some things which irk me in programming I do watch. So, please allow me the opportunity to get the peeves onto cyber-paper and out of my system.

• New York City does not have a blue tinge. Perhaps NYPD was blue, but the city's atmosphere is not. In its first season, C.S.I.: NY did the blue-tinged bit and now Heroes is doing it. Stop it. NYC isn't blue and, if you're going for some sort of "gritty-city" effect, it's not working. Plus, it makes photo-taking for my blog harder. I'm in and out of Manhattan a lot. Trust me, sometimes it may smell funny, but the air isn't blue.
• Another NYC-related rant... I generally don't watch the local FOX news for the most part. But, since I've been watching American Idol, I can't help but to catch some of the local FOX5 blurbs and sometimes even the show itself. This is New York City. We're supposed to be on top of stuff, right? How can they not understand the concept of what a blog is on FOX 5 News at Ten? Yo, FOX5, listen up! What I'm doing right now isn't a blog... it's a blog entry or a blog article. Comments are not blogs. Your viewers are not blogging to you and you are not reading their blogs unless you're reading a whole actual blog (such as The (TV) Show Must Go On...). A blog is a collection of entries, usually with comments (responses), updated regularly so the newest entries appear at the top. You are reading your viewers' comments, not their blogs. I realize there is a section to create blogs on the website, but you're over-using the term and the comments read on the air aren't blogs. "Blog us now!" Go blog yourselves. Sheesh.

What's been irking you on TV lately?

'American Idol 6' - The Birmingham, Alabama Auditions

The Birmingham auditions, in addition to being an hour shorter than many of the other audition shows, were different from previous shows. The Odd weren't quite as odd, more contestants either could sing well or couldn't sing well at all.

It was an odd night indeed. So, bear with me as this might be an odd report.

Tonight's Most Notable of the Odd

That's right, it's Simon Cowell's shirt! Yes, he wears those teensy-sleeved t-shirts each week. Although I don't believe I've mentioned them before, they annoy me. They're odd on men who actually have biceps, odder on Simon Cowell. In this pose, most folks with a shirt like that look a bit muscular. Nope, not Simon!

Make him stop.

Can you tell I wasn't too impressed with the Odd?

Then there was Victoria Watson's hair. And, her mother's hair. The locks prompted Ryan Seacrest to regress to his cheesy jokes, something (if I'm being honest), I sort of miss a bit.

"What brings you hair?" Ah, vintage Seacrest!

I felt sorry for Victoria when she was rejected by the judges. No, I don't think she was right for the competition, but her voice wasn't that bad. She would do well in chorus or choir, I think. Simon's comment about only a voice her mother could love was a bit rough. She wasn't a total non-talent like many going through the audition doors. Oh, well... hair today, gone tomorrow.

I don't get this one at all. A 50-year old woman, dressed in Big Bird attire, with a name of Fowler. She wasn't funny, couldn't sing, wasn't even near the age she gave (26) and I don't even really want to give her attention.

Yeah, she might be a hoot as a friend. Yeah, she seems like a nice enough woman.

But, what the hell is she doing on American Idol?

There were a few other Odds, but nothing truly original. The last contestant of the second day, the show closer for tonight, just irked me. I did like the Simon "call me" interaction with Brandy Patterson, but that was all I liked. Wait... the floor excuse was a new one.

There Were Some Good Ones

Yes, Chris looks like he should be in the Most Notable of the Odd, but he's my new favorite. His jokes are perfect and he can sing very well.

If he doesn't make it on American Idol, he could do well in stand-up comedy. "Some people think I look like Jack Osbourne. But when I look in the mirror, who do I see? Christina Aguilara!"

Many more went through to Hollywood. One of them had such an odd sob story that the story itself made me twitch to put it in the Most Notable of the Odd. But, if it's true, it's a horrible thing to live through as a child. "My Daddy shot my Momma because he caught her cheatin' on him, then he shot himself. He's paralyzed from the chest down. I take care of him and my grandma." Eep.

Twenty made it through to Hollywood. Most (of the ones we saw) just didn't come off as all that memorable to me. Tomorrow's auditions come from Los Angeles. Bring it, L.A.!

'Heroes' - "The Fix" - A BulletPoint Report

When I watch Heroes, I feel the same sort of excitement I held as I watched the first season of Lost. Perhaps a bit more as I enjoy the graphics novels (read that as comic books) medium.

I have several friends in that industry and have dabbled in it a bit myself, albeit not quite the superhero genre. Comic books or graphic novels are a bit like soap operas. I have somewhat of a short attention span when it comes to continuity for long-lived characters. But, with an hourly television drama, I can indeed keep with it. (Just don't ask me about the Fortress of Solitude or pre-crisis or stuff like that.) "Can we ever change what we really are?"

Here's the BulletPoint Report on the latest Heroes episode, "The Fix," to get things up to snuff. These aren't necessarily in the order of appearance on the show, some are by storyline.

• We found out that the new hero, The Invisible Man, has encountered others like Peter, who can see him.
• In the Matt Parkman (cop who can read minds) storyline, he told his wife about his power, got suspended from work, and found out his wife's pregnant.
• Sylar's in bad shape hidden at the Odessa location (Primatech Paper). HRG (Mr. Bennet) instructed his henchman to keep him alive as per his boss.
• Zach is working with Claire once again. She's tired of lying to everyone (but him).
• She sought help from The Haitian and got a clue that her mother, Meredith Gordon, died in a fire 14 years ago in Kermit, Texas. He knew nothing about her real father.
• They lied to her father, HRG, and told them they were school science partners on a manatee project. A side note: she used wind chimes to signal The Haitian. He told her this would be their last meeting.
• Hiro seems to have lost his powers. He feels he must have the real sword to get them back. Ando and Hiro went on a mission to deliver an Isaac painting to the mysterious Mr. Linderman. They were pursued by really bad guys in a van.
• Mohinder and Nathan Petrelli agreed to work together to find Peter -- it was a reluctant agreement on Nathan's part. Despite the fact that the Invisible Man told Peter that he'd never see him again, he showed and hid Peter from Nathan and Mohinder Suresh.
• Ando got himself kidnapped by the Really Bad Guys and Hiro wouldn't desert him. He tried to take Ando's place, but ended up kidnapped with Ando.
• Niki was visited by a shrink in her padded cell. The shrink wants to explore the MPD factor (probably for her own means as well as Niki's). Niki refused to bring Jessica out to play. The shrink used the threat that she'll never see Micah again. (I don't like the shrink.)
• D.L. phased himself into Niki's cell trying to figure a way to phase both of them out. Niki refused to go.
• D.L. can't find a job, can't get money. He let Micah down as Micah knew his Mom had done whatever she had to do to support him. Micah took matters in his own hands and used his power to make a substantial withdrawal from an ATM. (Now if I tried that, it would probably come out of my own account! Overdraft fees, ack!)
• In a heart-tugging moment, D.L. and Micah talked and Micah promised he'd try harder. Then he dumped the money out for his father. "You know how you and Mom both have a secret? "I have a secret, too."
• HRG got a call that Sylar died. "Package him up." He wasn't happy. But, did Sylar really die? Heh.
• The kidnapped Ando and Hiro were told by the Really Bad Guys that they were the wrong ones for the mission, then offered first class tickets back to Tokyo. "You cannot bribe a hero. My spirit is unbreakable," replied Hiro. So, the Really Bad Guys brought Hiro and Ando to their boss. Uh-oh. It's Hiro's father, played by George Takei. It was the briefest of glimpses and that was the end of that storyline for the episode.
• Claire called all of the folks named Gordon in Kermit. She struck pay dirt. Her mother didn't die. However, her mother told her that she thought Claire had died.

• But, remember Sylar? Oh, he's not dead, either. He killed the lab dude, then confronted HRG when he came for "the package." You could see the shunt in the back of his head. "How's Claire?," he asked Mr. Bennet.
  

There you go. Those were the happenings. In the teaser for next week, Claire's real mother is on the phone to her real father telling him "our daughter found us." Of course, that leads me to the thought that Claire's real father might be Linderman? Hmmm...

I'm so loving this show! I got another note from Primatech Paper, giving me a password to look into the Mr. Bennet's files sort of how Zach and Claire were doing. The easily-revealed file was about an upcoming hero - a woman who can intercept transmissions and rado waves.

I noticed there were four files there, but the password given me would only open one. However, there were highlighted numbers/letters in her file. I put them together into a password and found it went to the last file of the four -- Sylar's file. In his file, nothing was highlighted, so I can't get into the middle two files. The site even (mock) yelled at me threatening me with legal action if I kept trying to hack their files. Uh-oh.

Whatever Will I Watch on TV Tonight? - Monday, Jan. 29, 2007

There's some sort of cold white stuff all over outside, so I'm staying inside where it's warm and cozy. Since I don't have a fireplace to watch (sigh), I'll bask in the warm glow of my television.

Whatever will I watch?

In the 8 PM ET/PT time slot, my usual shows (How I Met Your Mother and The Class) are both repeats. If you haven't seen the slap-bet episode on HIMYM, here's your chance. At least, that's the episode showing in promos. New episodes of Deal or No Deal (NBC) and Prison Break (FOX) are also airing. Over on the CW Network, there's a new episode of Everybody Hates Chris followed by a new All of Us. ABC has a repeat Wife Swap.

Any regular blog readers here know that my 9 PM ET/PT hour will be filled with the new Heroes episode on NBC. CBS has repeats of Two and a Half Men and The New Adventures of Old Christine. 24 is a new episode on FOX while Supernanny is new on ABC.

The 10 PM ET/PT sees a repeat of C.S.I.: Miami on CBS and new episodes Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC) and What About Brian (ABC). For a change of pace, VH1 has a new episode of The White Rapper Show. I may have to channel surf, eh?

What are your television plans for the evening?

'The Apprentice: L.A.' - Ep. 4 -or- "In New York, we call them Cheez Doodles"

Well, this episode was a bit better than the previous three, but the show has a whole lot of saving itself yet to do. I won't go over my issues with the season again, but they mostly remain the same. One thing I keep forgetting to mention that grates me about this season is the lack of the little business tips. I used to be able to figure out which team would lose simply by watching the tip. Now I figure out which team will lose because one always seems to screw up royally. It's not as much fun for me to do it that way.

One redeeming factor in tonight's episode was the lack of Trumpette and/or Trumpling -- Ivanka and Donald, Jr. Instead, last season's winner, Sean Yazbeck, visited the task and later joined in at the boardroom. Good. I'd rather see him than a Trump progeny any day. Well, they could use Baron, I guess. "Who should be fired?" "Googoo." That would be about as good as the elder Trumps and much cuter.

The show started off with Arrow celebrating the fact that since Michelle quit, they wouldn't face the boardroom and another firing. In the celebration somehow the topic of Cheez Doodles came up. Like Frank (and I never thought we'd have anything in common), I was shocked that someone doesn't know what Cheez Doodles are. I know them all too well.

Trump had a little conference call with both project managers, once again lecturing about how quitters are losers. Of course, Michelle would have lost anyway. I still give her kudos for quitting this fiasco of a season. Then he asked for a volunteer to give the constantly losing Arrow team. Heidi offered herself, Surya, and Amy. Trump decided only Surya would go. Frank mugged, er, hugged him very energetically under the glow of the night vision cameras. Poor Surya.

I think Surya was a bit off-putting to the Arrow team when he droned on and on from a list of business rules. Even though they've been losing, he's no expert. In my opinion, he's been a bit on the sidelines of Kinetic and didn't play a huge role in any of their wins so far.

The task was similar to ones they've done in the past. They had to create a bowl dish for two separate El Pollo Loco locations. I've only seen that fast food chain when I was last in California, so I checked the website for the location nearest to me. Oh, gee... up at Foxwoods (CT) is the closest, with Chicago next in line. Being near NYC, I don't think I'll order any for delivery.

As per the norm for this season, it was obvious which team would win the task. Arrow jumped right on things, came up with a chicken tortilla bowl, and worked together as a team. Frank was actually the MVP of the task, getting an order for 22 bowls from a local business. For once his energy and Excitable Boy attitude did some good. They set up a festival atmosphere with balloons and signs. Even Surya mixed in well with the team despite his "rules."

Meanwhile, Kinetic, which is a word derived from "kinesis" that means movement, was ironically stalled arguing over small details. "What should we name it?" "I don't like that name!" They had decided on a fruit and chicken bowl and some wanted to name it "Paradise Pollo Bowl." Um, okay. They wasted time bickering about the name and then wasted more time quibbling on cellphones with Marisa because she wanted to hire two people with chicken suits. In the end, they just walked along the drive-thru lane telling people about the dish.

Well, duh. I see the problems from the get-go. The name of the dish doesn't tell me anything about what's in the dish. And, with no real excitement or promotion, no one's even going to know anything special was going on. Heck, the chicken suits would have been an improvement.

Sure enough, in the initial boardroom with both teams gathered, Sean announced that Kinetic earned $313.54 while Arrow brought in $418. At least that's the amount I managed to hear as the Arrow team burst into shouts of joy. I'm surprised it wasn't a larger difference.

The reward was much more appropriate than last week's Playboy Mansion evening. (Phew!) Arrow headed off to Malibu Beach where noted singer Andrea Bocelli played piano and serenaded them. Oh, la la! After the performance, there was a fireworks display on a grand scale solely for their enjoyment. And, even more important, they would be able to move into the mansion and out of Tent City. They were beside themselves with glee.

Kinetic weren't happy tent campers, though. They inherited a "disgusting mess" as Muna put it. Plus, one would have to be fired. I noticed that Heidi, the reigning Project Manager all season so far, immediately took any firing focus off of herself. She is good, I'll say. She went through polling the rest of the team because she thought the cashiers and marketing were the weak areas. The whole team decided that Marisa should represent the marketing aspect in the boardroom.

Back in the boardroom, Marisa kept sinking her own ship. I guess she wanted to make sure it stayed sunken. She ticked off Trump some even though he's on a "he/she has good spirit" kick this season (he liked Frank's spirit, too). The entire rest of the team spoke up saying she should be fired. She kept trying to talk over them about the chicken suits, which when you consider that this is supposed to be a corporate situation... chicken suits? Yikes, that's just plain silliness-talk! Trump seemed to be a bit patient with her, but eventually told her to "shut up." I guess that was the big fuss in the promos? I felt let down. I wanted to see some hair-pulling or something!

In the end, sure enough...

"Marisa, your whole team wants you to go. You're fired."

Okay, the episode was better than the last few, but I'm still not enamored with this season. Bring it or give it up, Trump. No, you're not fired, but that is indeed a written warning I'll be putting in your Reality Television File.

Dollar bills, y'all...