'Hell's Kitchen' - Episode 5 -or- "Cooking Like Donkeys!"

I interrupt your regularly scheduled Big Brother Live Feeds Updates to bring you up to date on the latest Hell's Kitchen. Hey, I've been talking about it each week so far this season; I can't let a bunch of odd people in a house in California stop me now! (I will be posting feeds updates later tonight and early, early in the morning, then again tomorrow evening...I'm talking east coast time here.)

As the show opened, we had seven wannabe chefs, although not suited for fry cooks, contestants remaining out of the original twelve. Thankfully, Tom went the last episode. He should have never been there in the first place! Now I want Sara out of there just because she's an obnoxious, sneaky, so-and-so.

Chef Ramsay treated all of the contestants to what they thought was real fancy-shmancy food. Instead, the caviar came from catfish; the pate was crushed hot dogs; the fondue was Cheez Wiz, and there was a TV dinner in there posing as something as well. All of the contestants went on about how great the food was with Garrett only stumbling for a moment. After being told what they were eating, Keith said, "Hot dogs are slammin'!" No wonder he liked the pate!

The "meal" was a prelude to a taste-test contest between the teams. Blindfolded with headphones, each team member was pitted against another in identifying a spoonful of something. (No one got a spoonful of sugar, although it may have helped the medicine go down.) The women, with one sitting out to even the teams, won. Woohoo, they did a photo shoot for TV Guide.

And, that brings up the creepy Sara again! Argh! She was fondling Ramsay's leg and being blatant about gas during the shoot. What the hell is wrong with that woman? Get her gone!

As the women drank champagne, got all dolled up, and posed pretty, the men had to clean the mess left in the kitchen from the night before. Well, the men and Heather, as Ramsay put her on that team to even numbers. (Back to -- suppose a reality show put on a gender war and nobody came?)

The dinner service as the usual frantic mess as Ramsay yelled, "Where's the lamb sauce?" I don't know. I think if I were there, I could tell him where to put his lamb sauce. There were burnt ducks, well-done Beef Wellington, burnt quail, and even a hair on an entree. Horrors! Ramsay freaked that the teams weren't communicating, yet he certainly doesn't create an atmosphere of open communication. It tends to be like: "Chef, the lamb will be ten minutes!" "Off with your head and serve that on a (#&^%#@ platter!"

Ramsey showed odd familiarity with two of the contestants tonight. First, he took Rachel aside as she was screwing up right and left and gave her a pep talk. Then, it was even more weird with Keith, something about "nobody's ever told you that you could do well." I expected Keith to reply, "Mommy never loved me." Blech.

They actually got the entrees served when Ramsay did his final blow-up "shut down the kitchen" bit. But, both teams had their woes. He decided the Red Team did the worst and that Virginia was the best of the worst. It was up to her to name two nominees to get booted.

Rachel told Heather to win it and go after Sara if she got the boot. And, after a long rambling nomination, Virginia nominated both Rachel and Maribel. Ramsay booted Rachel.

Go get Sara, Heather! You can do it.

Now, the more I watch these characters, the less I'm liking Heather. She was my favorite from the start. She's crumbling, though. I hope the promise to Rachel boosts her back up. I don't like Keith. It looks like Ramsay is liking him more each week, but his whole demeanor oozes burger-flipper, not a top chef. Garrett? Eh, better than Sara or Maribel. Chef Ramsay ought to kick them all out of the kitchen and get in a new cast.

'BB7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Digest - 7/10 Morning/Afternoon

Half the house stayed up more than half the night last night, as I mentioned in my first post today. If they don't watch it, BB will call a "lights out" time as they did in past seasons.

Without further ado, here's the important a-doin's from today:

• Will and Jase wanted to move George's bed to the backyard as he snores so loud.
• Janelle, Kaysar and Howie fixed and ate waffles at after 4 AM their time.
• Howie wants a threatening alliance stance while Kaysar doesn't want a mob approach.
• Howie and Janelle tried to tell Kaysar that integrity won't get him far.
• They (H, J, K) think James is working with Danielle. [Editor's note: He is, but who knows how loyal he'll be as his own needs change in the house. He doesn't like Alison and wants Danielle to stay this week.]
• Janelle told Kaysar and Howie that Marcellas wants in with their alliance.
• The 'up all night' crew went to bed after 5 AM their time; Danielle was the first 'up for the day' crew person at a bit after 9 AM, then Mike.
• Mike told Danielle that James is voting to keep her. [Editor's note: Duh. She knew that.]
• Mike starts working the thought of the S6 alliance being too strong and they must lose some members.
• BB did Beastie Boys wake-up music at about 10:15 AM their time. BB then told them, "Houseguests, you must clean the bathroom today." -- that's the first I've heard that announcement, but they need it.
• George tried to form an alliance with Danielle and Nakomis. He's still Odd Man Out. He told them he's suspicious of S6.
• Will wanted a house meeting to discuss the snorers - George, Howie and James.
• There was an outdoor lockdown.
• James and Kaysar had a long strategy talk about S6 being targeted and Danielle being an ally... or not.
• Will and Mike tried to figure out where Marcellas' loyalty is.
• Mike wants a tie to louse everything up this eviction.
• Mike told Howie he wants him in the new "Chilltown" with himself and Will. @@ Have to roll my eyes at the thought of it all!
• Lots of sleeping in the afternoon. Gee, I wonder why?
• Mike tried to swing Jase and Marcellas to his alliance.
• Marcellas called Janelle the "new Amy" and doesn't know if he can trust her to have his back through the game.
• James found change in his pocket, lied to Janelle and said he found it under the couch cushion. BB took the money away.
• James is still campaigning to keep Danielle. Marcellas still wants Danielle to be evicted.
• Nakomis had a long, long talk with George and may have him in her pocket. [Editor's note: Smart move -- everyone's ignoring him, for the most part.]
• Alison campaigned for herself to Erika, not sure if Erika was really caring or listening, maybe just soaking it all in. No promises made.

And, that's where we stand.

Graphic by Zoetawny.
Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'BB7: All- Stars' - Live Feeds Update - Overnight 7/09-7/10

Once again, I'll first whine that this crew needs to get more exciting.

Here's some of what happened since I last posted or just stuff of interest (to me, at least):

• James is campaigning for Danielle to stay more than Danielle is campaigning for Danielle to stay.
• Erika cried about lost loves to Kaysar.
• Mike conspired with Diane, the object to get HOH power next week
• The uncertainty of Ali going this week grows and right now the house seems divided on the vote for eviction.
• Diane is allying with Ali...or is she?
• Janelle feels bad having an alliance with Kaysar, but telling Marcellas he's in it until the end -- same with Kaysar and Erika.
• Lots of past season talk.
• As I write this, some houseguests are still up making waffles. They should crash soon and probably conk out for most of the East Coast day. BB should institute a bedtime/lights out for them again.

Later!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' - Feeds Update (Or Something Like That)

I cannot belive this crew, I just can't. They've all been having fun in the backyard playing with a big ball...for a few HOURS now. Un-freakin'-believable! No scheming, no fighting. They're playing for hours and hours! Argh.

So, here's a Zoetawny graphic inspired by Erika's infatuation with Kaysar (which seems to be cooling a bit).

The biggest news on the news front is that Howie is going all Hurricane, perhaps it's more of a tropical storm right now, on Nakomis. Janelle doesn't approve and Howie's going to find out that Nakomis isn't going to be a whimpering April if he lets loose on her. Supposedly, it dates to her aiming the meteor at him in the HOH comp. He said she made it personal. Whatever. I think this one is all in his mind.

The nominations weren't changed and it seems up in the air who's voting for whom. While it seemed Alison was a sure eviction, it's getting a bit iffy now. Neither Alison nor Danielle are campaigning. On the other hand, Marcellas really wants Danielle out -- "I'm not safe as long as she's in the game."

Waaay too much talk about past seasons. Whenever they try to talk about something relating to this season which interests me (such as their sequester, etc.), we get flame/clouds and bad music. So, they play in the backyard. No, the screaming while playing doesn't get flame/clouds; it'll just get my neighbors to call the cops if I don't keep the volume way low.

In blog stuff: The poll I posted earlier seems to be dropping off Jack votes when you look at the results. He is the discrepancy between total votes and the sum of the others. The last time I looked, it seemed he had 6 or 7 votes. If you haven't voted for the houseguest not in the house who should be there, the poll is here. Go for it! Ivette is leading with Amy on her tail!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'BB7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Update - Screen Cap - 07/09

<--- Yep, it's a thrill a minute in the Big Brother 7 House, as you can tell from this recent screencap of Jase and Janelle in the HOH room.

Apparently, the POV Ceremony is over as we had extended flame/clouds with bad music. As I start to write from my notes, I haven't heard a word about whether the POV was used. I guess it wasn't as Janelle had previously said she wanted the nominations to stand. I also think BB kept the feeds blocked a long time after the ceremony ended just so live-feeders wouldn't catch the immediate talk and now it's out of their systems. Someone will spill the beans, though. Someone always does.

In their talk (pictured), Janelle was wondering about what to write when they do the HOH Blog on the CBS site. "Nothing's happening. It's boring." Wise woman, that Janelle, very wise. Now they're talking about Danielle being more likable than Alison although Marcellas thinks Danielle is dangerous.

Not a heck of a lot has happened today -- too much talk of the previous seasons and not enough gameplay for this season! Will is creating problems by acting up and singing. Remember, if they sing, the feeds will cut out as it's considered a copyright issue when they air songs over the Internet. Both Janelle and Jase's mothers watch the feeds. (No, I am not the mother of either of them!)

I switched feeds. It seems like the nominations have remained the same. Marcellas, Nakomis and Danielle are talking about DR sessions. Nakomis said Karen wanted to leave. Blah-blah-past season-blah.

In more interesting news, Ivette is really leading in the poll I posted a while ago. Eep! Who woulda thunk it?

Later!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

While Awaiting the POV Ceremony...

While awaiting the POV Ceremony to both start and conclude before the next real update, I figured I'd see if a poll would work here.

Who isn't in the house, but should be? Eddie McGee Roddy Josh Souza Ivette Bunky Cowboy Amy Jack View Results Make your own poll Just a note: For some reason, the Jack results aren't showing on the

on the results page. His are the difference between what you see and the total. I also think it may be thinking some of the AOL respondents have already voted. It may go by IP number. That's what I get for using a free poll.

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Mini-Report, Screen Cap

About five minutes ago:

"Good morning, Houseguests. The Veto Ceremony will begin in two hours."

So far this morning, most HG are still asleep. Danielle and Nakomis have been talking about family, childhood, children, decorating, and more.

The most worthy quote I can come up with is from Nakomis. "I was an odd child."

Big Brother just told them to get up for the day. He should tell them to be INTERESTING for the day!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Digest - Overnight 7/08-7/09

Good morning, good morning! Houseguests, it's time to get up! I'm up, so you should be up!


Er...okay, I'm East Coast and the hamsters are West Coast. I guess they can sleep in a bit longer. But I better see some action today -- a Jedi Warrior uprising, a catfight,...something!


Here's the latest "important doings" from the house since my last entry:

• Janelle got into a bit of a tiff with Howie because he kept quoting lines from last season. She said it was annoying. [Janie! Blonde bombshell! Oh, Janie!]
• Will broke one of the dining room chairs while they had it out in the backyard. [Okay, that's one wall bug and one chair dead. I'm going to keep the damages score here.]
• No banner plane, but... a skywriting plane! Woohoo! Then quick flame/clouds and annoying music. The HG were put in indoor lockdown and apparently (from what Will said) told the "show would be canceled if they stayed outdoors." [Yeah, right. BB just doesn't want "messages" from the outside world!]
• Once the feeds came back, every time the plane was mentioned, we got the flame/clouds again.
• Will started talking about the BB psychiatrist, so more flame/clouds. Argh. It's bad enough they start singing to get feeds blocked. He says he wants to talk to him because he has "anger issues." [@@ I have to roll my eyes at that one, have to!]
• Nakomis wants James out soon -- she doesn't want him to have a grip on the win at all. Both she and Mike think he'll turn on his group soon.
• Mike says the BB6 folks are "The Evil Empire."
• George claims he didn't watch the other seasons, yet the others think he knows too much about them.
• Kaysar thinks they're bored too early this season. [Editor's note: So am I. Action! I want action!]
• Janelle said George reminds her of a hedgehog.
• Marcellas got into a bit of a tiff with Danielle about the happenings of their own season. Meow.
• Will said he's only staying because of Mike and he gives it another week. [Editor's note: Huh, maybe he does want to be nominated!]
• The HG have reprised the game of "duckball" from Season 3.
• Will whined that BB won't let him say anything and won't let him see the BB shrink.
• Janelle and Howie think Erika is going to throw HOH(?) -- at least I think they were talking HOH, not the game itself! ;-)
• Howie wants Nakomis gone now. He really ranted and ranted about her.
• Marcellas ranted on about Danielle not deserving anything in BB3.
• Kaysar said he's enjoying this season more so far -- it's more peaceful. He told Erika and Danielle he has no alliances. [Yeah, right.]
• Kaysar thinks Will is deliberately causing disruptions and not having "anger issues."
• Marcellas thinks Howie talks too much and tries to impress people too much. [Editor's note: Pot. Kettle. Black.]
• Janelle, Kaysar and Marcellas want Monica in the house.
• Marcellas now likes Nakomis and wants Will gone, fickle soul that Marcellas.
• Marcellas blames Will for being suckered into the argument with Danielle about their season.
• Janelle and Kaysar are worried about a tie for eviction this week. They believe the house has several tiny alliances and numbers are uncertain.
• While Howie has turned Hurricane on Nakomis, both Kaysar and Janelle like her. Their BB6 "alliance" is all over the place and they all want different people gone. Oy!
• Janelle suggest Erika should be voted out. Howie discouraged it.
• All are still sleeping at this hour.

Wake up, hamsters! Get runnin' in those wheels!

Graphic by Zoetawny.

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'BB7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Report - Afternoon 7/08

This house needs action! Heck, even the liquor dispensed to the houseguests on Thursday night didn't create a ruckus like a few we saw last season. Instead, we're seeing lots of flame/clouds with bad music (bring back the fishtank!) and hearing Alison whine about her head injury. I personally think she's dwelling on the bonk to the head to avoid the reality that she's not doing well this time around.

Here are the highlights (and a few lowlights) of this afternoon in the BB House:

• Diane told Nakomis that Jase is "bad news."
• Diane is campaigning for Alison to stay because "she's good at comps, but bad at the game -- her mouth."
• Howie talked about boobies...again. Or, still.
• Alison whined that her vision is blurred from her knock on the head. @@
• James is obviously still upset about the America's Choice Kaysar return last season. He says if anyone returns this season, vote them off the next week.
• James and Mike agree Alison should go this week and both are leery of George -- they think he's a lot smarter about the game than he's letting on.
• Without his true Jedi Light Saber, Howie is playing Jedi with a pool cue-stick. He almost broke it. He's teaching George how to be a Jedi.
• Odd trivia: Marcellas won't use public restrooms.
• More odd trivia: Mike was an obese child.
• The HG discussed how past houseguests (not in the house) will be taking part in some comps. [Editor's note: Interesting, not sure if it's true or not. Usually they themselves aren't told these things, but they acted like it was fact.]
• Supposedly, the contestants in the Top 20 not picked received $7,000 for their efforts and time.
• They talked about various websites for the show, but failed to mention my blog. WAAH!
• Lots of talk about American Idol, past BB seasons

And that's it. More soon!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' Live Feeds Report - 7/08 Morning

Our beloved (cough) hamsters tend to sleep in, with Nakomis and Diane apparently being the early risers (in comparison) this season.




Here's the noteworthy or not news of the morning in the BB House:

• Alison is still complaining about her bonked noggin, an injury from the POV comp.
• Will and Mike are still pushing for banner planes.
• Now there's talk of keeping George because he does the dishes and cleans. This is a very messy bunch o' houseguests. You don't want to see the bathroom!
• George and Howie are the worst when it comes to snoring.
• Big Brother's wake-up call for stragglers came at nearly 11 AM their time. I need to roll my eyes. I will. @@
• Alison broke the coffeepot.
• Howie said he'll stay close to Will just to get more airtime.
• Diane once again mentioned how she thought Drew was gay (because he wouldn't/didn't have sex with her). @@

That's the big (yawn!) excitement thus far today in the house. The graphic in this entry was made by Rockin' Zoetawny!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

Tip Jar?

A few folks, one in particular, keep telling me to get something started with PayPal to help cover the costs of my time, live feeds, Internet access and such. This blog itself is on a free server (yes, I heartily recommend Blogger.com).

To appease her and, who knows -- maybe I can retire my day job sometime before I'm 90 -- here goes:



I'm not quite sure how it will work and I've added a button to the sidebar on the right.

But, y'know... I do this for the love of television. Really!

'BB7: All-Stars' - Live Feeds Digest - 7/07 to 7/08

We'll start today off with a Danielle graphic by AOL's Big Brother Wonder Artist Zoetawny! Heh, Danielle's devilish ways may have really cost her this season, huh?

As I posted yesterday, Janelle did indeed win the POV and the comp was looking for vetos amongst trash. Not all houseguests participated; those who did fussed for hours about the smell. Alison must've knocked her head pretty good on some sort of metal cage and was using cold compresses for most of the day.

At this time, this crowd is nowhere near as exciting as I thought they would be. For the most part, they're getting along well and there's tons of small talk about previous seasons, mutual friends, the whole BB experience and such. Here are the interesting and/or gameworthy bits from yesterday afternoon (Fri.) to present (Sat. early morning):

• The POV comp had hockey sticks, smushed-up PB&J sandwiches, fish gone bad, bins and vetos hidden in trash. Each HG had a color.
• James is making himself valuable as the chef so far.
• Jase wanted to instigate a Danielle/Allison catfight.
• Howie wants Will and Mike on the block.
• Jase, though he admires Will, knows to be wary of him.
• The HG talked about various Internet sites and "hate threads" about them.
• Marcellas sold his Golden Veto he received during his season as well as his gnome, Boo.
• The HG talked about Danielle being responsible for the start of sequester due to what she said in Diary Room segments. They decided they all say "bad things" in DR.
• With the way George keeps getting hurt, Jase decided he would be the first "Med-Evac."
• Alison tried to get James to ally with her claiming that the S6 bunch was going to "go for him."
• Janelle is worried that Kaysar will tell Erika too much of their strategy as she's making moves on him.
• Janelle thinks Alison should be the target - she's a better game-player than Danielle and more of a threat.
• James seemed to be prying just about everyone for information.
• Janelle is happy with the noms and won't change them at the POV Ceremony.
• James is campaigning for Chicken George to be evicted next. Why, I don't know.
• Marcellas said he doesn't expect to return to House Calls.
• Howie talked a lot about sex. (What a surprise!)
• Alison is sure she'll be the one leaving. (Hopefully, she's right!) She's very unhappy and thinks no one likes her. She wants to leave Sunday, doesn't want to wait for Thursday.
• Marcellas said that Danielle blew any chance of winning Season 3 when she aligned with the one person everyone would vote to win.
• Will tried to get Howie to ally with him, then turned to the camera afterwards and said, "As the fly falls into the spider's web..."
• Nakomis will vote for Alison to go out this week and Janelle was mad that Alison had a plan to boot her.
• Diane and Alison trashtalked about Janelle. Meow!
• Mike doesn't care for Janelle and thinks Kaysar is a snake in the grass awaiting the right time to strike.
• The HG say they want banner planes. (No, I won't pay for a banner plane!)
• Janelle hurt her ankle. (Perhaps in the POV comp?)
• Mike's birthday is July 16 - he expects a house party from BB.
• James wants to let George think Danielle is the target. Weird.
• James doesn't think putting up both Ali and Danielle was a good decision, but says he'll vote with the crowd.
• Lots of talk from Janelle and "their side" about George going next week if they win.
• James tried to explain how the "six-finger" or backdoor plan works to George. George is dense. He doesn't understand.
• Alison has already packed her bag. She wants to go home.
• Howie accidentally broke one of the wall ants.
• Erika and Janelle think George is smarter than he acts.
• They named the tarantulas (again) - Bunky is the hairiest one.
• Will claims to have pills that will keep him awake for 36 hours in endurance comps. (Yeah, just like he had cancer in his season!)

All are still asleep as I post this. Just a few observations from me -- the feeds don't time out after a half-hour anymore, the flameclouds and music are horribly annoying this season, Janelle and Howie don't seem to have quite the same relationship they did at the end of last season, and Alison should go home!

Tags: Big Brother - Live Feeds

'BB7: All-Stars' Live Feeds Update - POV - 7/07

After a very, very extended period of awful music and flame/clouds, the feeds returned. The POV competition was something messy to do with fish and garbage. Alison is complaining of a fishy smell, plus she got hit on the head with some sort of wire cage. Jase was supposedly "covered with leftovers."

It appears, though I haven't heard verbal confirmation, that Janelle won the POV. She's wearing the POV necklace.

'BB7' Live Feeds Quickie Report 7/07

Nakomis and Danielle are awake, talking the evils of peanut butter and jelly and those of mayonaisse, too. Excitement galore, eh? James recently woke up.

Overnight there really wasn't a heck of a lot of strategy talk, no fisticuffs either.

A few notable mentions from overnight were:

• James wants to name the tarantulas Maggie, Beau and Eric
• Diane told Alison she's not a target
• Erika is smitten with Kaysar, he's polite to her
• George indeed did hurt his back in the HOH contest
• Erika tried to pry Kaysar over who he wants out - Will or James
• Howie drooled over Erika - he has a new crush now
• Lots of misc. talk of the various seasons
• They know there's a new twist with the PB&J, but they don't seem to know what will be "thrown at them"
• James wanted to tell the girls one of the tarantulas has escaped
• Janelle said that she and Jase want the nominations to remain the same -- Danielle and Alison
• Diane is nice to Alison's face, but then talks with Nakomis about how stupid she (Alison) is
• Diane claimed Drew was gay because he wouldn't sleep with her (@@)
• Jase said Cowboy was all heart and no brain (I agree - so glad he didn't make the cut for the show!)
• Janelle said Ivette broke up with Tush and sold her won Vespas
• The two veto players are going to be randomly chosen? Hmmm...
• Janelle and Marcellas made a vow to each other to be the final two

Now, as I've been writing this up, more houseguests are up. No game talk, per se.

And, AOL's very own Zoetawny has been being creative again! Here's her Jase/Howie pageturner! She rocks, y'know!

'BB7: All-Stars' Live Feeds Update (Quickie Report)

Just to let y'all know, I've had the feeds on since they started up. There's not a heck of a lot going on - no strategy talk that I've caught. Most of the HG are gathered in a big group; all are getting along well. The pool table is in use. The hot tub was in use.

About the only really worthy of report thing is that Erika is flirting big time with Kaysar, to the point where she jokingly suggested they get married. Her mom loves him, she loves him. She said he's the "new Omar Shariff." He seemed a bit embarrassed, but didn't reciprocate the intense attention.

BB gave them both wine and beer tonight.

BB has new annoying music they play with the fire/clouds each time they don't want us to hear what a HG says (usually something to do with someone who didn't sign a release to have info aired over the Internet). I prefer the bubbling fishtank, but that seems totally absent.

It would be nice if they split up a bit more, but it hasn't happened yet. I haven't seen any really decent screen cap opportunities. Eventually, I'll do a fire/clouds cap so you too can suffer.

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' - Season Premiere

I think we're going to have a very interesting season in the Big Brother House. Of course, you would think that a few houseguests might want to think before scheming, but...!

Tonight's show began will Julie Chen gathering the Top Twenty contestants (announced on June 21). Similar to the nominations, she had a round podium with keys (or similar implements of entry). She announced she would draw the keys of the top four women voted by America and then the top four men, in no particular order. So, we don't know the top vote-getters themselves.

The top four women were Janelle, Erika, Nakomis, and Diane. They ran gleefully into the house and selected the room with the bed for four. Now, remember, Erika and Alison despise each other. Nakomis said she feels she's with a bunch of girly-girls. (I think compared to Nakomis, I'm a girly-girl and I'm so not a girly-girl!) I can't help but wonder how this rooming situation is going to play out. I doubt they'll be roommates for long together.

Then Julie named the top four men voted by America (or those who voted, anyway). Howie, Kaysar, James, and Jase headed into the house. Jase is plenty worried -- he's surrounded by BB6 houseguests! Can he con his way through the crowd? Is he as smart as he tells us he is? With Howie, it was all about "All-Star Boobies." Same old Howie, the ever-adolescent Jedi warrior.

Meanwhile, the rest of the twenty were looking very nervous. Cowboy was about to cry. Even the Evil Doctor Will looked worried. Then Julie announced six more were going in, not four more... for a total of fourteen houseguests. These were apparently the choice of the producers, as well as an attempt to have every season represented. The order in which she announced the six was: Will, Danielle, Marcellas, Alison, Mike, and George.

Once the houseguests were all gathered in the rather oddly decorated new house (huge bugs on walls, flames on another wall), beneath all the hugging and congratulating, the scheming started. Will and Mike teamed up, discussing how the BB6 players had to go. Will especially seems to not like Kaysar. Mike seemed to be the more mellow of the two, saying they had to play it cool. Everyone except the BB6 folks seem to be very worried about the sizable alliance they could very likely present.

With the HOH (Head of House) competition, Julie announced a new twist. There would be two winners sharing the HOH room. The winners had to agree on two nominations for eviction. If they didn't agree, they themselves would be put up on the block for eviction. The comp itself had half of the houseguests standing on a pedestal on a revolving round platform. The yard was done with stars all about and the other houseguests had to aim a 50-pound "meteor" suspended on a rope at them. Right away, it was obvious who was targeting whom -- not only to the viewers, but to the houseguests themselves.

Jase won the first round and when the groups rotated, Janelle won the second round. So, they're HOH. Danielle then did something that, as I watched, I thought was doomed to backfire. In thinking she was all that and such a superb schemer, she went about campaigning for Janelle and Jase to disagree on the noms, go up for eviction and then kind of backdoor (in a way) Janelle. She told George and Alison the plan. Alison went on to push it, but to also place some mistrust in Danielle herself, while George basically just laughed and said this is a totally different game than he played.

In the end, Janelle just got mad at both Danielle and Alison and Jase didn't want to take the chance of being booted. Janelle and Jase agreed on the nominations -- Danielle and Alison. Heh. I'd love to see Alison evicted, I really would. But I think Danielle may have put her own bad self out of the house by jumping into the scheming so soon. Oh, and Will better get off his high horse. I liked him in Season 2, but he's more full of himself now than he was then.

The live feeds should kick in at midnight (ET) tonight after the West Coast show. This could be very interesting, eh?

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' East Coast Update - 7/06

All right, it's AWN! No Monica, but AWN anyway! As I posted in my spoilers post, there are fourteen houseguests, not twelve. We have George, Will, Marcellas, Howie, Mike, Jase, Diane, Alison, Nakomis, Kaysar, James, Janelle, Danielle, and Erika in the house. I didn't want Alison, but I think I didn't want Cowboy even more, so it's okay.

I'll be posting a full show report a bit later and will be looking at the live feeds. However, I wanted to give the update for the West Coast viewers, especially.

There are two HOH and they must agree on the nominations or they will go up for eviction themselves. Jase and Janelle won (as I previously reported) and their nominees are...

Alison and Danielle!

Okay, let's get Alison gone. Please!

More to follow and, if you want the freshest post in this blog, sometimes if you hit the July archive button on the right sidebar, it may bring up something you're not seeing on the main page. And, if you come here via a post link, if you hit the blog title it will bring up the main page.

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' Countdown Time ON

Yep, it's almost here. I apparently didn't pick up on one thing in my report from yesterday -- there seem to be not one, but two HOH winners. Both Janelle and Jase seem to hold the spot.

Also, the pets seem to be tarantulas this season.

Cool.

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' - Who's In Da House? - Spoilers!

Just as they've done in previous seasons, the feeds have spilled the beans. Avid viewers of the feeds have been watching what I described as angry clouds and what others call flames looping on all four cams. Then, lo and behold, by accident (yeah, right) the feeds actually got off the loop and went live with audio.

Beware, this article is full of spoilers. If you don't want to know, move along. There's a lot to see here.

Who's in the house? Well, we have Jase, Howie, Dr. Will, Alison, Nakomis, Mike Boogie, Janelle, Danielle, Erika, James, Kaysar, Marcellas, Diane, and George.

And, what's the talk?

• Jase told Alison he wanted Janelle gone first
• Janelle and Alison got into some sort of trouble for moving furniture
• Danielle and Kaysar talked about Ivette and it looks like Danielle is trying to get in with the Season 6 crowd as they have the most numbers
• When Jase and Howie were talking, it seemed that Jase wanted an alliance and Howie didn't think it would work
• Howie told Jase that if someone needed to go, they can't be put on a back burner or it will "come back to bite you"
• The (HoH?) competition had something to do with throwing stuff
• Danielle told Kaysar that she thinks Marcellas is coming after her
• Danielle thinks she and Will will be nominated
• Howie called Marcellas "Marjealous" and talked of being a Jedi
• George may have broken the washing machine
• Mike and Will deny having an alliance to Jase
• References Danielle made make it sound like Janelle may be HOH (Head of House)
• Danielle, Alison and George are very worried that Season 6 houseguests will pick them off one by one
• There is a lot of talk about "backdooring" someone - Jase, maybe?

That's all for now!

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' News and Speculation

It's getting closer! Since the television premiere is only four days away, it's very possible that the houseguests are already in the house. They typically go in three or four days before the season starts so that producers have footage for the premiere.

So, who's going in the house? How do you get the feeds? Where do you get them? What's this about 14 houseguests instead of 12? What's the buzz...tell me what's a'happenin'...!

Once again, the 24/7 live feeds will be available through RealNetworks, for a price, of course. They'll be doing a two-week free promotion that you may want to give a try starting on July 6, although I'm not sure if the feeds will kick in after the show airs on the West Coast or during East Coast time. For the life of me, I can't recall when they started for real last year. I recall there were several most likely intentional "slips" after the feeds showed fishcam (video of the fishtank) last season a few days prior to the season debut.

CBS will place episodes the day after airing on their Innertube video site. The individual episodes will be archived and available to viewers throughout the season.

Despite the hype about America choosing the houseguests, only six (three male, three female) will be chosen by the votes at the CBS website. The other six, possibly eight, will be chosen by CBS producers. It's very evident that CBS wants big personalities and even bigger egos in the house this summer. So, it's likely that we'll see folks like Dr. Will, Jase, and Alison instead of people like Cowboy.

Fourteen houseguests? Didn't I mean twelve? Here's where there's a bit of speculation. In the house tour, there are fourteen frames on the Wall of Memories, not twelve. Does that mean two more houseguests? Or is it a red herring? Only time will tell, but I personally think we'll see the larger number with some sort of twist to kick off the season.

This season will debut the Big Brother Mobile Pack subscription -- Special producers will be monitoring the house supplying subscribers with video clips, photos, breaking news live house alerts, and daily insider summaries via their cell phones. Fans will also have access to exclusive video, photos, and text diaries of their favorite Houseguests. The service will be available on most major wireless carriers. Fans will be able to subscribe through the CBS website and on-air callouts during the shows. Cingular Wireless will be sponsoring America's Vote as well as a weekly "Who Gets Evicted" poll with a cash prize of $10,000 per eviction going out to a lucky viewer.

The popular Internet talk show House Calls will resume hosted by Gretchen Massey and available on the CBS website. Gee, there's no mention of her sidekick Marcellas. Could he be...in the house?

They've updated the schedule (thrice weekly) to drop the Saturday night show and air it on Sunday instead. I personally think that's a good move and less likely to be interfered with by baseball game pre-empts. So, the set weekly schedule wil be: Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays, 8 PM ET/PT.

'Hell's Kitchen' - Ep. 4 -or- "I Don't Think We're Getting Dessert

I think it may be sinking through to foul-mouthed, sometimes fowl-cooking Chef Gordon Ramsay that he has no real winners with the candidates this season. I personally don't think any of these folks could make it past greasy-spoon or, perhaps the best might make the line at a franchise restaurant. That's sad.


As the show opened for the fourth episode of Suppose They Gave A Gender War And Nobody Came, Garrett was complaining that Tom was dragging down the mens' team. Well, yeah...but so did Giacomo. And Keith's too busy "rocking" his pants and "rolling" down the street to ever make it through to the end. For some reason, I can't see anyone with the nickname of K-Grease running a fancy-schmancy Zagat-rated restaurant. Go back to Jersey and work a diner down the shore, Keith. Oh -- and take Tom with you! So, who's the most normal on the mens' team? Garret, the ex-prisoner prison chef. Can I get an eyeroll from everyone, please?

As far as the women, I still like Heather for the win. That is, unless Ramsay decides none of these frycooks are up to the challenge. Each week, Sara is irritating me more and more. Virginia and Rachel are ho-hum at the best, inept at the worst. And, Maribel is still so out of her league that it's shocking she doesn't spend entire episodes in a panic attack.

Due to the fact the men were down to three, Ramsay declared that Rachel, Sara and Heather were leaders. The men needed a leader, so he gave them Heather. Then they all went off to eat at the busiest restaurant in Los Angeles, Pinks. It's a hot dog/fast food place.

The first challenge for the teams this week was to serve lunch to a bunch of brats (ahem) children who were obviously told to be on their worst behavior. Kids never act like that when their parents aren't with them to give dirty looks to strangers who dare say something about their behavior! Both teams actually completed the service -- pizza, hamburgers, french fries and cake. The Blue Team (men plus Heather) narrowly got the win and went off to an amusement park.

The Red Team (women) had to clean up the dining room which was destroyed by the children. Sara acted like a real jerk, laughing and not taking the loss seriously at all. I did have to smile when she inhaled helium from a balloon and imitated Ramsay. But, other than that, all she did was irk her fellow team members.

When the actual dinner service went down later that night, once again it was a catastrophe. I didn't expect it to be anything but one, so I rocked my pants and settled in. That Sara must go away. She really must! She literally sabotaged Virginia in Ramsay's eyes by letting her take the fall for something done wrong. On the Blue Team, Heather was babysitting the men and, surprise of all surprises, Tom was royally screwing up the meat station so much so that Ramsay pulled him and stuck Keith in his place.

Eventually Ramsay had his meltdown and closed the kitchen while patrons were still awaiting entrees. As one person said, "I guess this means we're not getting dessert." In his rage, he told both teams to nominate someone for elimination.

The women should have nominated Sara. But did they? Nope. They nominated Virginia. Chef Ramsay obviously thought they should have nominated Rachel. Sara, I say! Sara! The Men Plus One got their nomination right -- they nominated Tom. Of course, he was full of bravado boasting he wouldn't be eliminated, but guess what? As Caroline would say to Trump, "This was a no-brainer." Buh-bye, Tom!

He should never have been on the show to begin with. In tonight's show he mentioned that this is his fourth career in his 43 years. I wouldn't even want him cooking hamburgers the way he sweats into the food. Hmmm...a good career for Tom? Um, how about cleaning subways? And I don't mean the restaurant!

The 'Big Brother 7 All-Stars' Hit the Campaign Trail!

As Monica would say, "It's AWN!"

The candidates for the Big Brother 7: All Stars hit the streets, the airwaves, the chatrooms, and more trying to get themselves back into the House of Horrors. Er, the Big Brother House, that is.

This week's campaign trail includes:

Today, June 25: Erika at Venice Beach, CA, 12:00 noon. George Boswell will be hitting the streets in his chicken costume in Chicago and Rockford, IL. Howie will be doing a chat at Jokers, 10 PM ET/7 PM PT. Marcellas is appearing on Reality Remix (FOX Reality Channel) -- check your local listings. He's also going to be on KIFR radio (San Francisco - 106.9 Free FM) doing the Gretchen Massey Show from 9-11 PM PT.

Monday, June 26: Grr, if I didn't have to go to work, I'd be at the Plaza for The Early Show -- James, Janelle, Mike "Boogie" and Monica begin their campaigns on the show itself, some will be on the Plaza. Monica will also be appearing at the Applebee's located at 102 N. End Ave., between Murray and Vesey Street. Marcellas will be on Reality Remix again and also on Sirius Satellite radio, the "Out Q" station at 8 PM ET/5 PM PT. Lisa will be on 98 PXY Radio "Spezzano and Sandy" morning show, 8 AM ET. Kaysar will be doing a Jokers chat at 10 PM ET/7 PM PT. George will be seen on the streets of Las Vegas in his chicken costume (of course). Diane will be doing a chat at Big Brother Extra at 9 PM ET/6 PM PT. Dana will be at the Madonna concert in Hartford, CT (bet Madonna is thrilled, eh?). Alison will be at the Sugar Bar, 525 Park Street, Columbus, OH, 11:00 PM local time

Tuesday, June 27: The Early Show Plaza appearances and campaign pleas by Ivette, Alison, Jase and Kaysar will be happening...once again, I won't be at the Plaza due to work (waah!). Lisa will be doing a Jokers chat at 10 PM ET/7 PM PT. George will be running the streets of Los Angeles in his chicken suit.

Wednesday, June 28: The Early Show Plaza appearances and campaign pleas include Dana, Danielle, Cowboy and Dr. Will. I think Dana will be the only one on the Plaza (sure, that's my day off!). George will be still running amok in his chicken costume in Los Angeles.

Remember, vote early - vote often! The voting is open at the official CBS BB7 website! Let's NOT have another summer of Alison, I beg of you!

Another interesting bit -- there seems to be 14 slots on the CBS site, not 12. Hmmm...

'Big Brother 7: All-Stars' -- Our Choices

Tonight's show with Julie Chen announcing the Top Twenty houseguests up for the running to be in the house this season just ended a few minutes ago.

In addition to announcing the twenty, she gave us a few hints about the upcoming season. Apparently, the punishment food won't be peanut butter and jelly and there's also something going on with the HOH penthouse/room...something secret. (Cue suspense music here.)

The Top Twenty were broken down by season and here's the eligible houseguests:

Season 1: Chicken George (woohoo, says I!)
Season 2: Bunky, Dr. Will, Mike "Boogie" Malin, Monica
Season 3: Marcellas, Lisa, Danielle
Season 4: Erika, Dana, Alison
Season 5: Jase, Michael "Cowboy", Nakomis, Diane
Season 6: Howie, Kaysar, Ivette, James, Janelle

I found it interesting that some of the websites posting spoilers on this were wrong. It was reported in more than a few places that Marcellas wasn't available and that both Nakomis and Ivette had "bad experiences" and weren't interested in returning.

My own choices? I definitely do not want Cowboy, Ivette, Diane, Dana or Alison in the house. I can take or leave Bunky, Lisa, Mike Malin, Danielle, James or Erika. I'd like to see Chicken George, Dr. Will, Monica, Marcellas, Jase, Howie, Nakomis, Kaysar and Janelle in there. But that's just me!

Another thing I noticed tonight which hadn't dawned on me before -- Ivette and Dana are so similar that it's freaky. Oh... and I actually liked Jase tonight on the show. Just keep Holly out of it. The other big "news" is that Ivette has turned her back on the Nerd Herd Friendship. A little late for that, methinks.

Voting opens tonight on the CBS website and runs through June 28. Julie said that the aspiring houseguests will be campaigning across the country and on The Early Show. This could be fun!

Tonight, Tonight! It's BACK -- 'Big Brother 7: All Stars' - America Votes!

Is everyone ready? I know I am! Tonight So You Think You Can Dance has been delegated to the taping venue while I'm watching the pre-season start of Big Brother 7: All Stars! Zoetawny has made me some nifty new artwork for the season and I've decided that I'll be doing the live feeds reports right here! Unfortunately (or fortunately health-wise), I don't have the summer off from work due to knee surgery and it's best I confine all my television addiction to a single blog. My intentions? Well, I plan on blogging live feed reports and other show news here -- you can sign up through feedblitz or RSS or Atom to get the skinny on what's happening or just keep checking in!


Remember! The show starts at 8 PM ET/PT in most viewing areas tonight!

And, of course, please (I beg of you), let's not suffer another season with either Holly or Alison if they're up for the vote. Listening to either of them on the live feeds makes my ears bleed. Both are shriekers and much too annoying to deal with for another season.

So... who do you want back in the house? Are you psyched?

'Hell's Kitchen' Well-Burnt

Last night FOX TV aired the third episode of this season’s Hell’s Kitchen. Well, they aired the second episode first and then, of course, we had to sit through the recap of the episode that just aired. It’s enough to make you dizzy! I don’t know if they’ll be doing that all season, but speaking for myself, I find it a waste. I’d rather see something new!

Ah, but…onto the show…

Although it’s hard to believe, it seems Chef Gordon Ramsay is having an even tougher time with this season’s contestants than he did with the last season’s. Or, he’s just working himself up to a lather for the camera.

The contestants themselves for the most part really don’t seem like world-class chefs ready to take on a luxurious Las Vegas restaurant. Some of them seem more inclined to work the greasy roadside stops than a “real” restaurant. But, what do I know? I’m just an eater.

As we started the third episode, most of the contestants are at odds with each other as much as they are with Ramsay. Garrett doesn’t like Tom; Sara hates Heather, and no one seems to like anyone very much. I’m just embarrassed by the two from the state where I reside. Folks, New Jersey isn’t being properly represented by Tom and Keith. I don’t think I’d want to eat a greaseburger prepared by either of them.

In a three entrée competition, the Red Team (women) won once again even though they only prepared two of the entrées. Mirabel is absolutely out of her league. She missed the relay of one of the dishes resulting in only two entrees. But, the men did even worse. Yeah, they had three entrées…none of them palatable. As reward, the women went off on a yacht while the men had to do all of Hell’s Kitchen laundry — by hand with a washboard.

The men were full of sexist comments both during the laundry and again after the women returned. I wanted Garrett and Heather to get in a knockdown-drag-out brouhaha, but it was only verbal. Rats.

When the service started the next day, the women started out well and Sara (ick) actually shined for their team. The men were buffoons in the kitchen for the most part. Tom burnt his hand, not a bad burn like Heather’s the week before — you couldn’t even see it! I know when I burn myself and fuss a bit, the burn shows. Ramsay declared him a Drama Queen and I think that was a spot on observation. Then Giacomo really blew it for the team. Um…the oven should be on. It helps. It really does. It was one disaster after another for the men as the potatoes were burnt by Tom (whose oven must have been on) and they choked.

The service was still in no way on a professional level, even with the women getting entrees out to the customers. It was still too long a wait — no one waits an hour (or two or three) to be served!

In the end, the men did worse than the women and lost once again. This time Ramsay told them each to pick someone for elimination as they all made mistakes. Now, Garrett really wants Tom gone, as does Keith. Tom and Giacomo were the worst of the worst. Of course, Giacomo wants Tom gone and himself to stay and Tom vice versa. So, it ended up being three to oust Tom and one to oust Giacomo.

So, what does Ramsay do? He eliminated Giacomo! Argh! I know Giacomo was basically lost in the kitchen, but he doesn’t creep me out like Tom does with the sweating in the food, nastiness, attitude, and just his all-out um…Tom-ness. I think the only actual contender on the Blue Team (men) is Garrett, the ex-prison chef. I’m still liking Heather for the win, though.

Sigh, there is no longer a Moppet (or Muppet!) in the kitchen. G’bye, Giacomo!

"Shut the kitchen down!"

'Treasure Hunters' Season Premiere

NBC has been touting its new reality television series Treasure Hunters as a “thinking man’s” show. Well, not only can I think, but I like reality television, too. So, I was sure it would be a fine fit for me. Now, after spending two hours of my Sunday evening watching it, I’m not as sure. But, I think the good outweighs the bad in this Amazing Race/Da Vinci Code hybrid and I’ll most likely keep watching it.

The Good
The locales and clue-finding bits were very interesting. For the contestants, it looked almost impossible, but for the viewer all was fine. But, hey, we’re just watching! I liked the educational and historical bits throughout the show. The scenery in Alaska and Hawaii, in particular, was breathtaking.

Viewers can answer a show-related clue/question by text or on the NBC website and one person each week wins $10,000. I should have entered. Without going to Ask.com as advised on the show, I figured out that Thomas Edison nicknamed his son and daughter Dash and Dot due to the Morse Code in a show segment.

The Bad
There’s product placement to the point of taking over the show. The contestants use their Motorola Razr phones to keep in touch with the show host for clues; they were issued laptops to visit Ask.com and Orbitz sites to figure out clues and make travel arrangements. Not only were the sites mentioned, but half of the teams wore Ask.com shirts. (May I roll my eyes now? Please?)

There are ten teams of three, each saddled with nicknames like The Geniuses, The Ex-CIA, The Southies (Boston), etc. While I might get to know the teams, I know I won’t learn the individuals by name until they get booted or the season ends.

Although very attractive-looking, the host (Laird Macintosh) just didn’t have the spark that I see in Amazing Race’s Phil Keoghan or Survivor’s Jeff Probst. Maybe he’s too young, I don’t know. But he seems very replaceable at this point. (Well, at least in my opinion.)

The Ugly
Don’t get me wrong. I’m no Skinny Minnie myself. However, one team on the show (The Browns) has two overweight brothers, one of whom is probably to the point of what’s considered morbid obesity by doctors. The show is full of extreme physical tasks. This guy can’t even hike up a hill or stairs without getting winded. How safe is this? Plus, I’m not too keen on looking at very obese people in bathing suits. If I want to do that, I can go down the shore (as they say here in New Jersey).

The In Between and Quick Observations

• What’s with repeating “cliffhangers” after the return from commercials? We saw the situation before commercial, just finish it.
• I have no longitude and latitude skills. If I didn’t laugh, I’d just go insane. (A nod of the head to Jimmy Buffet.)
• I found it amusing that the “Geniuses” along with their matched team the “Young Professionals” were the only group who went to Mt. Theodore Roosevelt instead of Mt. Rushmore. Even I had guessed Mt. Rushmore as the clues unfolded -- the names of all four presidents made it obvious.
• There’s a sneaky preacher who stole a clue from another team. Tsk, tsk.
• One team member has the most mullet I think I’ve seen in twenty years. It fits him well.
• The show started with five teams in Hawaii and five teams in Alaska, each gathering clues. They met in Nebraska and all seemed shocked. Um. Okay.

If you missed the premiere, encores will be shown on Friday and Saturday nights in most viewing areas, so you might want to check your local listings. Starting next Monday (June 26), the show will air at 9 PM ET/PT. And, one last thing, the official website has lots of nifty stuff including a video of the episode(s).

This Week In Reality TV

Summer is really heating up for the Reality TV genre fans! This week sees in the start of the highly anticipated (for me, anyway!) new series Treasure Hunters, the premiere of America’s Got Talent, and the pre-start of this season’s upcoming Big Brother 7: All Stars. Meanwhile, recent new seasons of returning series are building their audiences and providing us dedicated television fans fresh entertainment during the sultry summer nights.

Here’s the skinny on what’s going on this week in Reality Television:

Treasure Hunters - This new show debuts tonight (Sunday, June 18) at 8 PM ET/PT in most viewing areas. This one is well-hyped by the network, perhaps trying to tie in with The Da Vinci Code madness. It looks like we’re in for a wild Amazing Race/The Da Vinci Code worldwide romp as viewers are even offered the opportunity to win cash playing along on the show’s website. From that site:

From the producers of The Da Vinci Code, Project Runway and Top Chef! In this fast-paced adventure reality series, multi-player teams face mental and physical challenges in their quest for hidden treasure. The teams must avoid elimination as they travel to remote locations where they decipher cryptic codes that lead them closer to the ultimate prize.

The two-hour season premiere is tonight, but the regular day and time for the series is Monday nights at 9 PM ET/PT. On Monday, June 19, NBC has NHL hockey in the time slot, so look for the second show on June 26.

Hell’s Kitchen - Perhaps it’s my deep-within sadistic inner child looking for redemption, but I get a kick out of Chef Gordon Ramsay going berserk in the kitchen with chef-wannabes who aspire to run ritzy restaurant kitchens. I couldn’t do it; I wouldn’t do it. In “real life” I despise Ramsay-like mean people. But it’s “good TV.” This second season pits men against women for the position of their dreams. It looks like FOX TV is continuing to run two episodes in a row from 8 to 10 PM ET/PT on Mondays, with the first episode a repeat from last week. After this week, this will conflict with Treasure Hunters for me. Thank you whomever invented the VCR, I love you!

Fear Factor - Now, I’m not a huge fan of this show. Since its inception, I believe I’ve watched perhaps five episodes. However, for the Reality TV fan, this is the season you may want to watch. This season’s contestants are previous reality show “stars” from shows like Survivor and The Amazing Race, to name a few. It airs on NBC Tuesday nights at 8 PM ET/PT. Me? I ate a caterpillar when I was a child and had to go to the emergency room to have bristles removed from my lips and mouth. Watching people eat worms tends to put me in post traumatic horror. Or something.

Last Comic Standing - This week it’s past the auditions and into the house for the comedian-contestants. I personally haven’t been too faithful to this show since the season of hometown guy Rich Vos. So far I have watched this season and perhaps will keep checking in. I want to see how Joshua Blue handles comedy sets not dealing with his disability, but I enjoy his disability-related stuff, too. It’s sort of like John Callahan with his cartooning -- sometimes you just have to laugh at the blows life deals to you. If you don’t, well…you’ll be a miserable bitter so-and-so. The show airs on NBC at 9 PM ET/PT. Check your local listings and remember…I’m funnier than Dat Phan.

So You Think You Can Dance - The competition’s heating up with the dancers as we saw last week when the first couple was eliminated. Can a break-dancer or a popper do ballroom? Can a ballroom dancer dance hip-hop? For the answers to those questions and more, check out this FOX TV show which airs 8 to 10 PM ET/PT on Wednesdays followed by the elimination show at 9 PM ET/PT on Thursdays. I personally enjoyed the couple who “Broadway-danced” to “Steam Heat” last week and may or may not watch this series through to season end. I’d like to see a series based purely on the break-dancers and poppers as I find what they do amazing. Me? I can do that crazy hand-jive and know I can’t dance. I do, however, think that FOX should capitalize on this format. I can see it now -- So You Think You Can Skydive or So You Think You Can Walk Bad Neighborhoods In Camden (NJ) At 2 AM. The possibilities are endless!

Big Brother 7: All Stars - America’s Vote - Oh, if you know me, you know I’ll be watching! I’m not too keen on “All Stars” versions of reality television shows, but I’m a true BB fan at heart, so the season is a given for me. This Wednesday (June 21) at 8 PM ET/PT, it’s a pre-season show giving America the opportunity to vote previous houseguests back into the house. From what I’ve read, it’s a bit limited as far as who might be available for the return to Hell in a House, but I think it could be quite intriguing. I’m a people observer with live feeds. Just, please, America -- do not vote either Holly or Alison back in, I beg you! I beseech you! The regular season premieres Thursday, July 6, at 8 PM ET/PT.

America’s Got Talent - Another ballyhooed NBC series premiere is on the slate! Like Treasure Hunters (even more so), I’m eagerly anticipating this series! Created and produced by Simon Cowell of American Idol fame and hosted by the much-beloved Regis Philbin, it’s a talent contest which goes the realm of…of…um…whatever! The two-hour season premiere is this Wednesday, June 21, at 9 PM ET/PT. Be there or be square.

Of course, my listing here tends to focus on shows in which I’m interested, but I’m the one writing the article. If you have a reality show you enjoy or are looking forward to watching, let me know! This is going to be a big TV week for this TV fan, I tell you.

'Hell's Kitchen' Season Premiere -or- "There Are Muppets In My Kitchen!"

I enjoy cooking. I enjoy baking. Folks seem to enjoy eating food I prepare. But, do I want to be a chef? Or, more specifically, do I want to go through literal hell at the hands of Chef Gordon Ramsay of Hell's Kitchen?

No way! This guy is brutal. He makes my own micro-managing boss look like an angel. And, of course, when you're talking kitchens, there are weapons there -- knives, forks, and hot stoves, oh my!

I watched this show last season mainly because there wasn't anything else which interested me in the time slot. I ended up getting hooked on the show. So, here I am.

Tonight's season premiere was less of the touted two-hour special than it was two episodes shown one after the other. The events occurring were obviously two separate shows, not one grand ol' cookin' fest. But it did the trick for me on a quiet Monday night (as well as making me feel a bit better about my own boss).

This season, the 12 contestants have been broken down by gender to two teams of six each. I'm not huge on the gender war mentality in the reality television genre, but it seems like every show goes that route if it lasts more than a season. So be it. The men are the Blue Team; the women are the Red Team. Pink obviously is too fluffy and soft for Ramsay, I'd say.

Even though I watched the two hours, I still don't have too many of the contestants down. I'm impressed with Heather -- she knows what she's doing, severely burnt her hand in the second hour yet kept giving her team direction and says things like "We do not speak in the kitchen." I'll remember that. I will only dance and hum while in my kitchen.

Others I noticed on the Red Team included Polly, way out of her league and gone in the first hour. Being a mom of six puts you through a lot but doesn't mean you can make it in Hell's Kitchen. There's a Sara who just struck me as rather odd. No one really stood out as being a possible winner other than Heather. We'll see. If we're going to play gender war, I want a woman winner!


The Blue Team has its share of oddballs, too. There's a prison cook who was a prisoner. Eep. There's a young guy named Giacomo who started off very impressively, then screwed up the side dishes in the second hour and was nominated for elimination. I wanted to like him after the first hour, but now I'm not so sure.

One of the men I know I don't care for is this fellow Tom. He sweats in the food and looks more suited to be a character actor who'd be hanging out at an off-track betting parlor than someone I'd want fixing my dinner. He was nominated for elimination in the second hour, but Ramsay saved him and wanted a different person in his place. That person, Gabe, a lost sheep, was eliminated when put up with Giacomo.

They managed to have not one, but two medical emergencies in tonight's premiere. One of the men (Larry) went to the hospital as his "body shut down due to stress." Hey, they said it, not me. He, like Gabe, was a lost sheep. He was way out of his element and he should be happy the stress nailed him in the beginning or his head would have exploded or something.

The service? Well, I hope they don't charge the customers at Hell's Kitchen, not this early in the show, anyway. I can't imagine waiting two hours for my appetizers or more than three for my entree. Yikes! On both nights they served (two shows, I tell you!), the customers ended up walking out and very few tables were served. I don't believe any tables received their entrees the first night.

The best lines of the night:

• Gordon Ramsay: "I've got Muppets in my kitchen!"
• "We've got a runner!" - one of the contestants upon discovering Larry had gone missing.

The most disgusting part of the night? It's a toss-up between Gordon Ramsay making the contestants pull all the discarded (wasted) food from the first night out of the Dumpster and the who can sweat the most contest between Tom and Keith. I'm sorry, but I don't want people who sweat like fountains near my food. I don't sweat in my own food and I'd leave a restaurant if I saw someone like that.

As I mentioned, in the first hour Polly was eliminated. I agree with that one. As for the men, I personally thought Keith who couldn't even take orders and sweated all over the place should have gone. Yes, Gabe wouldn't have lasted much longer, but at least he didn't disgust me. He was clean and neat.

So, what did I learn from the show? Hmmm...don't sweat in the food. Don't overcook the pasta. Keep my side dishes and meat timed to arrive at the same time. Oh, and the most important thing, don't become a chef for anyone, especially Gordon Ramsay.

Burn baby, burn...

'The Apprentice 5' Season Finale -or- "I Hear There's An Opening In Hawaii"

As of tonight, Donald Trump has a new employee in his organization after a grueling, yet entertaining, 15-week long interview. Yep, tonight was the hour and a half live finale coming to us from the Orpheum in Hollywood, California. I found that rather unusual as all of the other seasons ended right here in the New York City area. Not that I was ever invited, mind you. (Sniffle.)

However, Trump had a card up his sleeve. The Apprentice 6 will take place in California. Dang, it just won't be the same, at least not for me. I'm used to the NYC setting, know the areas and often see familiar sights. Yes, I lived for a few years outside of Los Angeles, but we're talking first grade. I think it's changed since then. Ah, well...on with the show...

The finalists -- Lee Bienstock and Sean Yazbeck -- were still amidst their final tasks as I wrote in last week's entry. Lee was in charge of a celebrity hockey game fundraiser at Chelsea Piers (NYC), while Sean was in charge of a Bare Naked Ladies rock concert fundraiser at Trump's Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, New Jersey.

Both had woes. In my opinion, Lee chose a horrible team. No matter how much loyalty he feels with Lenny, the man is not good for business. Pepi? He chose Pepi, fired in Week Two. Roxanne had some strong points, better than Lenny and Pepi, but...! And, then Sean had a strong team -- Tarek, Andrea and Tammy -- but Andrea had a health crisis and went running off to a doctor. Eep.

As we watched them complete their tasks this week, both still had woes. Yes, Andrea returned (which is great as she's a very strong team member). Her health crisis turned out to be a burst blood vessel in her sinuses. But Sean delegated too much responsibility to Tarek, in particular. Tarek actually did well, but even Trump's representative George commented on it, so it wasn't just me.

Lee was totally disorganized and really turned off the fundraisers by not having everything planned. Then he went and put Lenny (of all people!) in charge of the celebrities! What the hell was he thinking? Lenny all but deserted them, offended the fundraiser folks with ill-timed jokes and even got Lee ticked at him.

In the end, both candidates managed to get their acts together, although I don't think Jaime Pressley (the auctioneer for the hockey event) ever wants to see Lenny again. To quote her, "You're not together, little Apprentice Boy!" Nonetheless, both Sean and Lee seemed to have success with their events in the end. I'll admit I couldn't do it.

The task endings, as well as recaps on both Lee and Sean, were filmed and shown to the live finale show audience on a huge screen. Live hooplah included Trump asking his Trumplets, Donald and Ivanka, who they'd choose to win. Neither committed. Nor would George commit. This season's other candidates were split pretty much down the middle, too. Perhaps Sean had one more in his court than Lee did. Finally, Carolyn committed and chose Sean. Judging from the audience, Sean was a more popular choice.

Me? I wasn't thrilled with either of them, but I'm sure both will go on to success in business. But, they once again didn't ask me. Well, they did, but I didn't vote online for either candidate. I decided to be an apathetic slug. Or something. I thought Lee was too sneaky and Sean wasn't on top of things. Maybe I could have voted for Brent!

Trump told them that there were two job locations from which they could choose. No, each didn't get a job. He indicated that their choice may play a role in his choice of the winner, but that didn't come to play as both chose the same location. The choices were Hawaii or Soho (a nifty-keen quaint ritzy neighborhood in New York City that is being ruined with stupid highrises - my opinion, of course). Both chose Soho.

When Trump revealed the general vote from the online audience, he said it was overwhelmingly in support of one candidate. He chose the same one for the win, but said it was a hard decision.

The envelope, please. Um...okay, no envelope. The winner of The Apprentice 5 is Sean Yazbeck, the Brit in Miami. Throw confetti, dance and sing...if you must.

Just a few tidbits:

• Sean said he plans to marry Tammy (aw, golly gee, how sweet)
• Was Andrea wearing jeans? What was up with that?
• Denis Leary broke the NYC law by smoking in that locker room.
• Those Pontiac G6 cars are really attractive. May I have one?
• Trump believes you must take credit, blow your own horn, in business. Why am I not surprised?
• Hmm...it seems to me that there is a position open in Hawaii. Should I apply?
• Brent had to jockey for position to shake Trump's hand one more time.
• Lenny is still surly and a step behind the world.

All in all, I was entertained this season, more than I have been for the past few. After all, I'm not applying for a job with Donald Trump. I'm just sitting here writing about a television show. If it entertains me, then it did its job. Donald Trump, I guess you're hired. (The paycheck is in the mail. Really. Would I lie?)

Thanks for reading this season and I'm sure to be watching next season.

Until then...

Dollar bills, y'all...